~Simplicity is just Perfect~

A blog entry after so long. Happy 2012

2012-01-18T06:28:00.000-08:00

Penning down thoughts and feelings. It was just too overwhelming for me, so here it is.

Come to think of it, I pretty much have a blessful life despite all the pain and shits I'm going through. I’m glad, my family issues has turn out for the better though some things are still going on and off, I pretty much can say, it’s so MUCH MORE better than previous. Best friends, close friends of mine, and YOU (F**k, come to think of it, I regretted telling you haiss), who knew what's happening, are constantly giving me moral support and are always there for me, through thick and thin. I’m blessed to have them in my life. Really blessed. Thought maybe they should know.

Thus, I’m grateful with whatever I have now and try not to “FML” all e time hahaha. I had my life, I enjoyed every min of it, that small little moments and things that meant so much to me bcos its THAT little things that makes me happy. Making me happy and smile are one easy task. Mainly the reason is because I’m always all smiles every time. J Why should I spend my life being so down, all frowns right? Despite going through so much, I managed to stand up, hide all the pain and tears and JUST SMILE. I am proud of myself for that; it shows I could handle my emotions really well. Some friends who finally knew something, eventually gave me that shock response like “ WAIT WHAT, I thought all these while you are leading such a happyl life, didn’t know you are going through so much.” CRAP. They assumed it’s that way cos of the smiles I have been showing all these while. Well, this is life. Some things you hide, some things you don’t.

Then somehow, my world turned upside down. I let myself tried all the things I told myself I would never ever do. But human words tend to be edible. I ended up eating them.

I knew every year for me will start to get crazy, things that just come and go, something’s are unexpected, something’s will change either for better or for worse and a whole lot more. I am looking forward to every bit of it, every arena of it.

I enjoyed every single day of my life in school despite issues here and there. Like I said I’ll always treasure that small little moments. I forgot that I've left a group of old friends behind. Truthfully, I didn't care. I didn't care about them at all. Like I said, I didn't want to be the person I was before. I wanted to be someone totally different from that. And then, they all could see, I diverted my attention elsewhere, I left the room untold. I have to do this, for the benefit of myself, benefit for my relationship with my family. But I’m glad, some actually stayed behind supporting and not leaving me. I’m glad I had that group of friends. And we still do meet up once in a while despite our busy schedule. :)

I met a whole lot of new people in Bukit Batok, a kinda tuition centre for kids where us mentors will be so called volunteering but with pay. Contradicting I know it is, I need Kaaching $$ mah. A whole new group of people I've met in BB. People who are really open about themselves, people who aren't afraid to stand out from the crowd, people who are so passionate about whatever they are doing. Slowly, shy and timid Hanis started to blend in.

Met and got to know a guy. The last time I actually kind of like and having problems with guys was a year plus ago. Told myself, I would not want to get involved with anyone till it feels right. I mean, once bitten twice shy. Well for me, that’s not the case. I was bitten twice. And I’ll make sure this will be the last. I don’t wanna get hurt nor disappointed anymore. I’m tired. Right now, as I’m typing, I thought of him, wanting to say big THANK YOU to him for making me NOT ABLE to trust guys again. I am gonna have a hard time trusting thanks to you dude. To think I got hurt and really disappointed by a guy I’d never even dated. AWKWARD.
He was fun to be with, I enjoyed all the time I spent with him. He has always been there for me for that past 7 months. Sending me cute texts and MMS-es that I bet all girls would love. Despite what others have told me about him much earlier, I choose to see a certain side of him for a reason. Because I want to. Because I challenged myself to. Because I believed he might be different from the rest of the guys that I’ve known after to what he portrayed himself to be. But I was wrong. So wrong.

Just when I thought he meant all those texts and MMS-es he’s been sending me

Just when I thought he and myself promised to stay

Just when I thought, I meant something to him after everything that’s been through.
Guess the joke was on me. Despite curbing it all in for quite long and letting it out after much consideration thinking this will turn out to be better.

But then he made a decision to just suddenly avoid me, making me like a wall that has no feelings at all, making me hang and wondering what really went wrong and for no alternate reason, we just don’t talk and things started to become a little awkward between us now. I just miss how he used to always be there for me and every particular weekend, we’ll just talk about life and I really enjoyed his company. Though things are different now, I didn't regret knowing him, I ought to know there are more guys out there like him and I have to be more wary.To think there are other victims like me too and they are my friends (but I fall hard unlike her) and to actually think I thought I did meant something to him. Sucks to be you, Dear Hanis.

To the girls who’s gonna be his next victim, good luck and all the best to you. You’ll end up like me sooner or later. :)

So here I am now, back on my bed thinking and reflecting how fast things have changed. It has been a bumpy journey and I end up in the same place back again. Like now, I realised, life isn't complicated. We tend to make it look so.

lots of love xoxoxoxos
Hanis Hussain

Won't be updating anytime soon. :) Busy.

Ramadhan

2011-08-03T03:04:00.000-07:00

I just realised the less I care about anything, anyone, the less anxious I get. Well done,self. Im so proud of you.Keep this up, and you won't find yourself getting mood swings, hurt, thinking too much about stuff. I feel more carefree, and happy knowing that I don't have to think about anything or anyone except for myself, my family and maybe some friends who's worth of my care&concern.

Ramadhan has always been my favourite month. This is when you see people start to step into the mosque frequently than usual for prayers and terawihs.(Though, I haven't been really a good Muslim, haven't been doing my responsibility as a Muslim) This is when you see people coming down to Geylang and relive the atmosphere of Ramadhan and the nearing Syawal. This is when families come together and break their fast together,helping their Moms to prepare the food or simply just eating out together. This is when you have to depend on a more positive mindset and stay away from sinful things. This is when you stay away from food and know what it's like to be in the shoes of a pauper. This is when you learn and realise to appreciate whatever,and whoever you have met in life. Whatever had happened is meant to happen cos HE knows what's best for me.

?

2011-07-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

I don't know whether it's worth it or not. I don't know whether I deserve it or otherwise.I don't know if I'm wasting my time, or should I cherish it all. I don't know should I feel this way,or is it wrong to.I don't know whether it's too good to be true,or it's simply just a clue.I don't know whether this is momentary,or would it last.,I don't know what's the truth,because it only lies in you.I don't know how to deal with this things,or should I just stop,drop and go. I don't know.
I just don't know what I want, what I need sometimes.

MST

2011-07-01T00:43:00.000-07:00

MST's is being such a bitch. Yes it is. It basically ruin my sleeping time, my favourite TV shows, my time out with family and friends and many more. I studied hard for it, yet the outcome was a disaster. No, I have not yet gotten my results. In fact, today, Friday,1st of July was my last paper and I screwed it all up. Overall, I think it was disappointing. I studied hard for it and I wonder what went wrong. Maybe because, I didn't understand it. Maybe I didn't study hard enough. Maybe this, maybe that.
Sometimes I feel my hard work didn't pay off. Oh wells, I guess, life isn't always fair right?
I want this to go smoothly. With no regrets. I do not want whatever that happened to me before, to ever happen again. Once bitten twice shy. I just hope to do well for the upcoming semestral exam. I am gonna revise, pay attention in class, do my work properly, understand and do whatever it takes, to ace this through. * I am saying this just to make myself feel better* Hahahha no no, insyallah, I will. :)
Since Im constantly worrying about my performance in school, my results, I can't be laid back all the time. :/ Just gotta hang in there for a little while more.

Chaos

2011-06-01T09:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, we learn from mistakes and we are trying to change for the better. It isn't easy. To others, you might just go back to your old self back again when they didn't see the good change in you. But what they don't know is that, we are changing, for the better. We might not show, and act like as per normal, but we are. I meant how to? We are in the process of changing, be it for better or for worse. Its hard when ppl keep talking about things that happens in the past. Yes, a reminder for us to change for the better and not repeat the same mistake again but the hurt, the process that we went through, the pain..everything.. Maybe ppl should learn to ask, instead of just seeing. Seeing is deceiving.

Sometimes I amaze myself how did I live through with all of these.Well. we just have to live with the pain,whether we want it or not. Even when's everything fine,there's this little corner of our heart with probably might and still be aching.

School's been fine so far. But what's worrying is,me. yes ME.I haven't been doing proper revision for my upcoming MST all because I don't have the motivation to. At times, I just don't feel like doing anything. I procrastinate alot. Yes I do. That feeling sucks, and you know you just have to do something about it, but you are just too tired to do so. Even in the procrastination state Im in, I feel worried for myself. Even with boma and Nuning to slap me in my face, I still couldn't make myself to focus. I don't know what's wrong with me. Guess there are just too many things on my mind. Too many. Rushing my assignments here and there.

Even when its school term break next week,I still gotta attend sch to study,assignments and many more. Which is a good thing though,I might be distracted by the things around me and all I do is focus on my studies. ;))

But hey, Im positive, I'll get back my motivation sooon. As im typing this, at a certain point, I feel motivated to do well, to revise on my modules, having a rough plan on what to do/what to study during the holidays. I've started to do some revison, been studying with Nuning and Juli,working hard. Ceh.Im not sure how long would it last hahahahahah. Sometimes I feel motivated sometimes not. Like at this hour, I dont feel motivated and I don't have a concrete explanation why I should feel this way. As soon as I wake up, I'll be all smiles and wanting to study and motivate myself. Its always been like this. Its very tiring. I can't control how I feel but all I can try is to be numb.

On a happier note, the past week, I managed to meet and talk to my 2 best friends almost everyday. They are working as those stage photos where they sell graduation photos during the graduation period in SP. The main reason why I like to meet them, instead of asking me "how's life" they asked me, " Have you done your assignments? How's you revision coming along?"

Forgetting that one of them are in NUS( one good example), and the other have already successfully graduated from SP, call me weird or crazy or just plain nonsense, but somehow Ive got my motivation back from them. Really. Plus Khai gave me non stop advice to study and wok hard etc. <3 im blessed to have them in my life. They are the ones who pull me up, when Im down, bring me to the right path when Im lost, showed me some light when Im in darkness. What more? ♥♥

Sucky May

2011-05-15T07:16:00.001-07:00

Its already in the past. Those things that Ive made you angry with. Those things that you thought I disappoint you with. Those things that you think I've changed so much ; from that little innocent girl of yours to someone whom you don't know, though deep down, I don't know where I've gone wrong.
When things just starts to get better, It goes down, back to square one as soon as possible. And sometimes I wonder why, where it went wrong, what happens that lead it to that way.
We are still not in the comfortable zone to accept each other mistakes and forgive AND FORGET. I was wrong, you were wrong but at times you just dont want to accept the fact. Seeking sympathy. Well, whatever it is, it did hurt me too.

Some things that you let me down truly with your attitude,and most of the times, you can just get real stubborn for me to tolerate, well now I know where I got those genes from. Plus your words, hurts so badly. I doubt I would be able to EVER ever forget it.
There were so many things that you did for me, that you've done so much to give your best to me, as a parent. I appreciated all of it. I'm just so sad why sometimes things turn out these way now. As much as I love you, yes it still hurts. Despite how we treat each other with cold shoulder at times, I's still hope and pray for your safety and health whenever you are at work. At times, I just look like I don't care, I couldn't be bothered, but deep down, I do. So much.
They say HOME is always the best place to be. But when things just got worse, and home is suddenly the place where the stress, depression all begun, how can I ever be there, coming home with a heavy heart because of sch issues and staying at a stressful place.
Sch has been such a stressful week for me, maybe at home, you could give me some comfort that everything would be fine etc.Now I wouldn't know where do I find that kind of comfort again.

2011-05-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

I looked into many things.That are making me all moody all of a sudden. Making me stone and ignoring my friends. Making me having all of his negative feeling that gimme that negative vibes all around me in which Ive always try to avoid. People don't know something. Maybe I knew. Maybe some of my friends knew. But the reason/the cause would be childish. :/ I just don't feel like telling anyone(except a handful) cos they are not worth my secrets.

School. Modules which are driving me crazy most of the times. But Im really blessed to have such thoughtful classmates/friends with me,who never fails to help me out. Though right now, I looked so slacked and relaxed ; its been the 4th week and I've yet to FULLY do my revision and tutorials. See, this is how relaxed I am, at times I just feel lazy, not in the mood to do anything and just stone.
At the same time also, Im cracking my brain. Im looking for motivation, how to do better in my modules, when will I take my driving license stuff, should I choose a new CCA for the sake of CCA points stuffs, school stuffs, money stuffs, things that I want stuffs, family problem stuffs, stress during certain timing when I just don't get things right stuffs.

At this state, there's definitely a need for me to do something about it. Wake up, buck up, get real.
I've yet to reach my exhaustion stage. In which I think would be coming soon, since I've filled myself up with activities. Why? Simple because I want to keep myself distracted and occupied with productive things to do rather than just do nothing and keep thinking about something which will not happen.

And just when things starts to get better,it drops down like a steep downward sloping graph.

?

2011-04-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

FILLED WITH TOO MUCH INSECURITIES,UNCERTAINTIES AND MIXED EMOTIONS.

EVEN WITH STONING, IT DOESNT REALLY HELP MUCH.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ARE THE EMOTIONS IM FEELING NOW.

HELP EASE MY MIND PLEASE.

Thank you.

Update

2011-04-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

So far, my week has been fairly relaxed, with me staying home most of the days, doing housework and occupying myself with Mio Tv videos. Now I know how it feels like to be a housewife uh. I'm like experiencing mental problems at home all to myself, so many things to do at one go, tolerating naggings etc. At the end of the day, when finally everything's done, i wanna reward myself with a movie and I end up sleeping like a pig. I miss those times when I keep myself busy with work,studies,activities. At that point,time just pass by freaking fast.

Plus I started teaching 3 weeks ago, thanks to Juli, she got me this job. Its every Sunday and I kinda like it there. Kind of only. Hahahha.The kids there are so cute, they practically make my day somehow. Its freaking me out as well, since I've met a P5 girl and she reminds me so much about myself when I was in P5. Quiet, shy type, studious, smile smile here and there. Alhaiiii. Hahahha. But what's irritating was im under programme and along with others, I have to plan for a 4 days 3nights camp. Looking at the state Im in now, I havent even done nor contribute anything yet. My usual tight lipped cum lazy to entertain attitude mode is ON,even though Ive got some ideas in my head right now. And no, I didn't ask for this. I was being saboed. -__-

But fret not, school starting next week and yes, Im excited and a liitle bit worried and at the same time sad. Im worried If I can't blend in with my new classmates and Im sad, cos there's no one I at least know there, unlike last year. Just yesterday I started to rant to Sidiq and he was like " You can make new friends" when he knows that Im not that type to make friends easily. Shy uh shy you know. And then he goes on saying maybe its a good thing if I don't have a friend I knew, if not couldn't concentrate^^. Hhahahaahah I dont know what he's tryna say but its funny.
Plus Boma's now in SP, but looking at her time table, I doubt we will be able to meet uh. :( Our timings are different almost everyday!
But whatever it is,I will make the best out of it. Insyallah! :))))))) POSITIVE THINKING!

2011-04-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Never ending flow of thoughts.

Socialise

2011-04-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

I'm the kind of girl who is quiet in large groups or around people I don’t know; just met. You will only see the real me if we’re close. I smile and laugh a lot, especially at the most inappropriate times. Im sure so does others.
Therefore, try be in my shoes, and help me out like how I help you out to be comfortable ard my friends.Don't leave me hanging alone. I'm new there, what do you expect? Okay, maybe you are teaching me to socialise ard by my own effort and such. No, that's not me. I take time. Long time.
weird.

March

2011-03-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

So apparently, I got reminded by Nuning and also friends who non stop tweeting about the release of results, and it seems like other polytechnics might also release the results on the same day as well. Since I'm at home and had nothing to do other than housework, I checked mine exactly at 1pm sharp. Alhamdulilah, my results were good; as in satisfactory I mean. Equally equivalent to my effort put in for the Semestral Exams. No Cs or Ds in my module grades. And again, Alhamdullilah.

I remembered last year during Sem 2 results, I failed a module which resulted to where I am now. ='(

And now, I did really well for the module that I retake. I felt happy. And so are my parents. Seeing my parents being so proud of me makes me go awww. I should have been more serious previously else I won't be so far back from my classmates/friends (who are now having their attachment :/) and having such a hard time hiding from friends about which year I am in now. Its super embarrassing but ohh wells. And Im glad that Ive got support from family and closefriends. :)))Whatever it is, its in the past. ,Nothing I can do to change back time. Looking forward to work hard for the upcoming semester.

Its been a pretty lazy week for me.Lying on bed=Not bathing=Tv all day. Dread.

Oh yea Im starting to get busy next week for some sch stuffs and to meet up with my closest Halal mates. Something to look forward to. =))

PLL

2011-03-08T05:28:00.000-08:00

How've I been doing?

Im like a pig these days. Eat/sleep/watch TV/lappy/junk food/Bored.

Besides Gossip Girls, Glee and other American Dramas that Im currently watching right now during this holidays, THIS drama seems to be my favourite after GG/Glee. Yes, Pretty Little Liars. The drama is awesome; every ending of each episode makes me feel so restless and wantS me to know more and just made my finger clicked onto the next episode to find out more who's 'A', a guy/girl who is playing a cruel joke on them 4, who knows every little secret of each of them and etc.All those mysteries in keeping a secret or not, betrayal,friendship etc.. Its pretty unpredictable, that's why I love it.

Besides, most of the Guys characters, are so cuuuuttttte. So cuuuuuteeeeeeeee that Im gonna dieeeeee!

Which reminds be back to........ "Tuck In". Hahahah :)

School's outzxzxzxzxz!

2011-03-01T07:27:00.000-08:00

The day Im waiting for which is School Holiday is finallly here! Exams are over and now its back to my normal routine which is my daily/weekly dosage of American Dramas. I have been watching too many dramas till I forgot which episode I stopped at. MIO TV, is so slow. They didn't update the episodes and such. So much for "after 24 hours US telecast"
-_____________________-

Exams wise, I really studied hard for this Sem 2. Like really really. You know that feeling when you studied hard for a particular module, you know you gonna do just well for it. And when you do the paper, of course difficulties here and there are being encountered, but deep down, you just know, you gonna make it through, you gonna aced it. BUTT THATS NOT THE CASE FOR ME! :( I want to cry please.

At the end of the day I just felt so angry/sad/pain/frustrated and more. It just mean one thing, that I know Im not gonna do well like how I targeted to. Maybe because Im so hard on myself, I mean come on, I wasted 1 year, its an eye opener for me so I definitely do strive for the best in whatever I do. Most importantly, to make my parents proud of me. To show them that I've changed to be better in terms of studies and everything. But I don't know. Its just so hard to be the leading one,you know. But whatever it is, I did try my best and Insyallah, when the results are out,hopefully my hard work and effort are all shown there. Amin.

School wise, definitely Im gonna miss some of them. Esp those who have helped me out a whole lot. I think this year seems kinda little fun, cos Im in classes with the people I knew, it just felt so great. People whom you know and can talk to. At least you know you are not alone.
Next yearrrr..., if Boma gets in SP, then its reallly something to look forward to in sch. Like really. If not then its like a normal everyday school mundane boring day for me. Seriously. So Boma please study hard and go SP k. =))

My T

2011-02-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

So far, despite the tiredness,the pain on my injured foot,despite that my eye candy has someone else already :'(*crying out loud!* things are pretty less gloomy these days.Or rather my first month of 2011.It started okay-ly...And stepped into February even better.I feel less sad,more looking forward and much much happier; Home,school, friends. Alhamdulilah.Everything is all good and hope it will maintain this way. I want to head towards this direction; that soon,those past sad memories are fully clouded because I've got something else to look forward to ^^, Right now been busy mugging hard for the upcoming exams and I can't wait for the holidays! Im freeeeeeeeeeeee!! ^^
And now, my another episode for food for thoughts. Since right now Im staying in woodlands, I have to take two train rides everyday to sch so that bascially gives me the time to thinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk~!

All this while, people's perception of arrogant means they are not talking, they keep too quiet and doesn't talk much. What maybe they didn't know is that some of them are just shy. Just like me. People have been coming up to me, telling me that they thought im so arrogant. I look that arrogant meh? No right? Hahhahha. Like others, I have that same judgement of arrogant people too. Precisely the reason why I tried to change and be so called more open, talkative, socialise around abit more.
Nevertheless, as many knew, Im not the type to talk that much and be loud like how most of my friends are. Im not like that. Well, that's me. It takes eons for me to season a friendship with people around me. I like people who starts conversation with me first and such and then I find myself asking the other lots of things I thought I'd never asked. It sounds so selfish wanting others to talk to me FIRST that's why I tried to socialise, make an effort to have some conversation etc.. How I forced my brains to bombard me with questions.
But I get tired and definitely giving up when the other didn't make an effort so. I thought about this while I was on the way to sch, in math class and on the way back home. I do not know how do I get this across..but nvm.
Maybe keeping quiet,not wanting to talk much is still my thing. Maybe I'm the problematic one. I asked lame questions, I just laughed at jokes and not wanting to ask more, OR maybe, you could be more talkative then me cos having two shy friends in class,on the train, grp of friends and whereverrrrr, that is so boring. Hahhahahahahahahahahaha. Or maybe indeed, I.am.the.one.who.needs.to.talk.more :)

By now, you prolly wasted 2 minutes of your time reading. Cos I seriously have no idea what I just typed. I gather my thoughts on the train during the ride to sch and back home in return to blog it out when I reached home. And those thoughts ran off when Im sitting on my chair with a laptop infront of me preparing to blog. FML.

Mugging

2011-01-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

I remembered getting a B+ last semester for Maths and I think that will be the last I'll ever get,somehow la. And who knows just how many marks more I can score an A! Hhahahahahahah!

Maths sem2 is getting tougher as week pass by. Maybe because partly, I didn't pay any attention. Nobody does anyway. Cos that lecturer talks like a bullet train, going faster than the schedule given. The class will go on doing their own thing;talking out loud etc and he still continues. Tsktsk. And the topics are getting really tougher and complicated. Its getting on my nerves at times.

I did my self revision and thank god, I managed to understand some of it, like finally. With the help of powerpoint slides of course! I wanted so much to score like what I did for Sem 1. Or maybe even higher. With much practice and a good understanding, I can do it. But right now, my base of understanding maths topics is low. :( I got a C+ for my MST. I felt so clueless and I hate hate that feeling. But giving up? Never.

Right now, Im mugging really hard for maths in hope to have a much better base of understanding till I forgot that I still have other modules to concentrate on. I want it to be something that when I look forward to during release of results where I would be all smiles and not disappointed.

Tonight's Food For Thought

2011-01-19T08:37:00.000-08:00

Im gonna post something you probably thought I would not post about. Hahahahhaahah. But its worth reading y'know. Heh!

I was browsing through tumblr today when I came across a Muslimah tumblr while browsing through a mutual friend's tumblr. I read through the quotes,see the beautiful pictures there. Its all about religion thingy,beautiful Mecca pictures,how great HE is and everything. I feel different. Literally different. I got really interested in it so I browse through the previous post and so on and so forth. And I really felt the difference. Really

I admit, I haven't been doing the compulsory things that Islam requires us to do in awhile because maybe I was just so absorb in this world and not thinking about the next world. I don't know.Reading the quotes how great HE is, the good deeds, the Mecca Pictures really makes me feel calm. Really. This is weird I know.

Like how reading a tumblr quotes can literally makes you feel calm when praying and reading the Quran will definitely makes you feel so secure,calm like no other best feeling in the whole wide world can beat this. So as I go on reading more of the quotes and such, I was really absorbed into it and I just had to do something about it. Like what?

Start getting closer to Allah, cos he loves us the most ,time to wash away all my sins before and be clean from all of it. Read the Quran. Maybe change to be a better person. Be abit more religious, making Islam apart of my daily life/activities cos it just doesn't revolves around in this world only but also in the next world.

And then what, coincidentally, a facebook friend posted some link on her wall, about how a man died while praying (sujud). I watched it halfway, I was scared. Its saddening yet scary.

Life is so fragile, Allah has the abilities to pull your soul from your body,anytime HE could. And I said this a thousands time, I.Just.Felt.Different. Its like I have to do something about it, but I just don't know when and such. :/ The feeling of un-sure is there so I told my best freind and she said something like, "Good! You are starting to open you heart slowy to all of these" My mum said exactly the same thing too.

I should treasure my life even more and appreciate for the things that happen in my life,even the bad ones because in every bad thing that happened,eventually something good will happen too. I like believing in that, it gives me the asuurance that even after rainy days,the Sun will still shine because Allah always wants the best for you.

I remembered being so whiny, complaining of my life and such, how I wish for a change and everything. Im so ungrateful. Tsk tsk tsk.!

Like I said previosuly I have to do something about it. I am still figuring it out slowly with Mum and my best friend Siti. I bet you guys out there reading (if theres any) must be thinking what is she posting about this? I just felt like I had to. Other than that its my blog anyway.Hahahhaah

Writing all these doesn't really mean that Ive gone all so so so religious and be such a good goood good person. NO.. Everyone makes mistake, will definitely do. We just have to figure it out slowly and with the help of HIM, everything would be just fine.
For everything that Allah has given me, a little bit of wealth,health,love,intelligence,or anything else in life; Alhamdulilah.

Hoooooowwwww?

2011-01-13T07:52:00.000-08:00

I am feeling worried as ever since school starts. Why? Because I have even started on my revision yet.I have been too busy with my new house lately, almost everyday,there are just things to buy for the house and everything. Plus Im so sick right now, It just made me feel worse. What's worse some more is that Im procrastinating. I GOTTA STOP THIS ATTITUDE. I DEFINITELY DO NOT DO NOT WANT TO REPEAT WHAT HAPPEN TO ME LAST YEAR. Insyallah,I can do it,go through all these,work really hard and never give up. Amin. I will start next week.If Im not, and still procrastinating, just come up to me and slap my face okay. xoxo

Ohhhhh Wednesday

2011-01-12T05:28:00.001-08:00

Ive been pretty grumpy lately. I sense its PMS on the way. My day on Wednesday, is usual long day, text with mum 0.o and friends plus a short meet up with Boma and Basirun.
When I reached home, I just felt so pissed like never before. That sinking feeling of disappointment followed by angry~ness come overpowering me. I just can't believe how laid back and carefree can ppl get, how last minute he/she can get, how relaxed he/she. At a certain time, ppl would be worrying about something important, but not this person. He/she doesn't worry about anything....... except just enjoying life. I bet I wrote this before on my previous previous previous post and if (any) of you are wondering, YES,I am referring to the SAME person as before.

Im ending off this post with these;
✔ I definitely don't want him/her as my FYP partner. I might just fail or even retake my FYP again.
✔ I am truly happy and blessed to have a friend,who's constantly helping me out. Really Blessed. Thanks Nuning for everything. ♥ ♥
✔ Takoyaki and Ramly Burger cravings satisfied.
✔ My throat is literally killing me yet no one wants to bring me to see the doctor.
✔ No one will ever know who my eye candy is.
✔ Spotted my Eye Candy Todayy!

Actual Reaction

But deep down, I'd actually go like this

and maybe this

OMG! ;D Meltszxxszs

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAH!

First week of 2011

2011-01-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

I think I will be dead. My assignment is due and I think I just gone bonkers because there are so many things to so yet so little tiiiiiiiiimeeeeeeeee. I feel really tired these few days and Im sick sick sick.

Open House this year seems more interesting and welcoming I guess. I think I need to bring a board and stick it up high in the air saying," Hello, get the hell outta my way, I wanna go home/ Im late for my afternoon class, so please Move!"

All those kids in their secondary school uniforms were infested almost everywhere. With the size of my body who looks not so 19 like this, I think I look like them and can already be considered as one. =.= No doubt I kinda enjoyed myself by indulging in the free cotton candy and popcorn. EVen brought one in a class a particular time.

A part of me regretted of not signing up or getting involve in the event but oh wells. The booths were creative as per usual and the open house makes it looks like SP is a cool school that kids should pursue their diploma in. NOT.

Hahahah

My New Home

2011-01-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

Look at the difference, NO EYEBAGS! Its not like all the time I had pics WITHOUT eyebags on it . Thanks to Hylman :)) It was really nice of him to edit it for me. Hahahaha

Damn these eyebags, I think It grown up to 5 kg.

Im settling in my new home, I love my new room, like seriously. Small and very cosyy.:D Before moving in, we went to view the house, before, in the midst and after renovation to make sure everything is all well done. I personally think this renovation contractor that my parents used is cheating my mum out of her money. But oh wells, lets not think about it..As long as the house is all settled, its fine with me. So all each of the room had a fix in wardrobe. Heheheh, I kinda love the idea of it ; I don't have to shift it like how I used to previously. And at the same time, Im really stressing myself out like, where do I put my bed, my table and everything.. Hahhaha, never mind, take it sloww ;)

My BFF

2011-01-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

Already a few days of 2011, it has starting to get a bit of a disaster.

They are the people who make me laugh harder, make me smile wider and make me live my life a little better.

My Best friends of 9 years and still counting. We are so gonna celebrate our 10 years together. Am so so so looking forward to it <3. Thank you for that wonderful day I definitely had lots of fun. And the catching up time was simply awesome. This is what happens for not meeting for quite awhile right right right?? And Rad, I am so so touch with your letters. I will definitely stay strong. With you and Khai with me, and with my other group of friends, I know I can go through all these stuff, smoothly.♥

Plus renovation @ my house is readdy. Im officially moving in on Wednesday. In a way, I kinda feel excited. And sometimes I don't cos Im still not quite familiarise with the place around me. Aiyoyoyo

New Year/Meet Up

2011-01-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

Happy happy new year to everyone. Hope you will be blessed with something good in 2011
I went to see the fireworks with my dear cousins. We managed to get a good front seat at the esplanade. Lucky us.It was simply awesome and definitely a good start/beginning to 2011 for myself and cousins. :DD
I hope 2011 would be a good year for me. 2010 has been such a disastrous year from school, personal and everything.

And and and and,

After going out the past few days, I have finally met up with the fun cliques ever. God I miss them so much. The people that I missed alot, all of them were present. :)) Awesome.

So Basirun brought us to Strictly Pancake and the food there was really awesome though I find some of the taste abit weird. So whenever we meet, there will always catching up time cum story telling. I love it I tell you. hahahhahhaa. We talked, we laughed, we make fun and everything and sometimes it just feel fun to know things you didn't know, get what I mean? Hehehhe^^. We spent like 2 to 3 hours there talking like as if there's no other day. Hehehehe I love my fun usual cliques. :D
Plus plus Boma bought me a dress. I simply love it though I forgot how to wear it. Lol. Thanks a lot ♥♥

Am looking forward to tomorrow, which is Sunday. I will be meeting my best friends Siti and Khai and we will be eating at Straits Kitchen at Hyatt Hotel. Super excited! ^^

Mum has been nagging at me non stop, saying I went out alot this month. Its good to enjoy before school, the thing that drag us tirelessly everywhere, starts. :)))

I hate to say this, but Im/We are left with less than 38 hours before school starts. Time to get serioussss!

2010-12-28T06:09:00.000-08:00

Truly,truly missed, like seriouslyyyy.

My usual forever FUN cliques

My "Sweet" 19th

2010-12-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

Time flies so fast that right now, I still couldn't believe that Im 19 years old. I feel really old, even though I don't look like one. Hahaha. I have been receiving lots of shock response from people ; they just don't believe that I've turn 19 years old. Most of them will be like, " HUH?? You are 19th?! I don't believe it!" Well, its time for you guys to believe it,really. At times, I kinda like the idea of people having that shock response, it kinda make me feel young but at times, I just dislike the idea. Its like," oh you have that child look on your face and your height, you don't look like 19 at all." Jezzz thanks but Im an adult now pleaseeee. Hahahahahahahah. Like I said before, A 19 year old girl stuck in the body and face of a 16 year old. :)))

Celebration wise for this year, well I could say its just okay. Pretty mundane actually. :(( I stayed the whole day at home on my birthday watching tv, and my family,cousins and I cut cake after 7pm. I do not know why but my family isn't the type to celebrate birthday. Well,mum always mention to prioritise family, so I decided to cancel the outing I had with friends just for them. Well at least I have a cake. Ohhh ohhh ohhh.

And for friends wise, I went out with my Sec mates ; my ladies whom I haven't met in awhile. Not all my ladies came. One was busy with CCA's, one having fights among each other and such. And all they do is avoid.

Then, you are supposed to have that excitement when going out with people whom you haven't met in a while but sadly much, I don't feel that wayyyy even though I tried.

But no doubt, its fun in a wayyy laaaa :)))

And on the other hand,I feel appreciated by what my Primers friends did. They bought a cake, and their Deco was a DIY thing and surprised us ( me and other 2 more who are also Dec babies). And Raymond, Nuning, Juli, Anselm and friends, thanks for the birthday gift.♥ Very thoughtful of you guys despite knowing you guys for only a short period of time.

To summarise everything up, my 19th was just okay. I must be imagining too much for something that in the end, I don't get anything. Quite disappointing actually. Really. But its over. No point brooding,whining,complaining about what a mundane sucky birthday I had.

Right now, all Im looking forward to is the brand new year. Hopefully it would be much better than 2010.

2010-12-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

I saw this particular girl on FB wearing long dress, she's just those ordinary girl and she looks really good on it. I dont have those long dress with me.I want one please :(

Fugly bangs(!)

2010-12-21T06:13:00.000-08:00

I swear I was feeling really low for the rest of the day after I rebonded my fringe. It looks fugly fugly to me. To think on my super 1st attempt of having straight bangs instead of slanted bangs turns out to be such a disaster. I am so so sad. And I am meeting my friends on the 23rd ; I feel so so shy to actually go meet them. :((( Oh god please help me.

My bangs turns out to be fugly. According to the hairdresser, this happens and and then it will go back to normal again. Well F you! :( If I had known this is happening, I would have definitely opted for slanted bangs like how Im always used to it. Plus, the fringe was kinda thick?? I dont know. Its just too much for mee! :(

And ohh how was it like???

Something came to my mind when I saw this fugly fringe. Its somehow similar to Dora The Explorer. I can be already considered as one of the Dora's sister. FML.

I just hope a miracle would happen; that somehow the fringe would turn different in a way or another.

Right now, its back to seeing the mirror and trying to adjust it to make it better till the 23rd where I will be meeting my sec friends after a very long time. At times I assured myself, it looks nice. My cousins,sisters and my aunt told me its nice. So I think its nice too. But at the same time, when I keep looking at the mirror, I had this feeling that sunk into me,thinking what a fugly bangs Ive got. :(

Ohh ohh FML FML super FML! D:

2 year friend-a-versarry :D

2010-12-17T07:15:00.000-08:00

So on that wonderful day, we just had that simple celebration together with Andre as well since he was around the area. We ate at Chicken Rings, it was exactly like KFC( i prefer KFC better), bought a log cake, wrote wishes/secret wishes on balls for 2011, talk and talk and talk, pictures. Simple yet wonderful celebration. Would love to elaborate more but nah, some are just.... oH wells.

More pics on FB.♥♥♥

2010-12-16T18:43:00.000-08:00

I somehow had that feeling, that my 24th Dec isn't gonna be the best birthday that Im looking forward to. =((

Please pray hard that 24th Dec is gonna be a good one for me. *

On a lighter note, I love twitter. I can write whatever I want, plus its locked. Only ppl who follow me can see whatever im writing. Now I know where to rant. :)

Ouch ouch ouch

2010-12-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Having sad angry feelings bottled up in you and not being able to express it all out, that is really painful.

Yes, painful.

uh uh December

2010-12-06T22:44:00.000-08:00

This is what you call Busuk Face. :/

Its the second week of Dec and lucky for me Im done with MSTs. Im so weird. The modules that I studied hard for and had great interest in learning them in depth tends to be the one making be so so so blur when in examination room. Saddening much. But its okay, holidays are here. Something to look forward to. About results, let's just wait till school reopens.

December. Its the month I am ALWAYS looking forward to. Why? Cos its my birthday, Christmas and a close start to a new year and more, I think. I waited for like what, 11 months every year just for this month to arrive. But now, when the month comes, I do not have any mood nor that excitement feeling. I have no idea why la. Right now, I just want my house in woodlands to be renovated quickly and I wanna move in asap. Staying in my aunt's hse was awesome. Really. With funny witty cousins and one joker uncle with me, it makes it a whole lot better and fun. Watching DVDs day till night and such. Buuuuuuut it doesn't have that same "feel" when you are at your OWN home you see. You can't do your own things and such. Get what Im trying to say? Ahh nvm.

I is want my own own room.

You know I have always secretly wanted my birthday to be like someone or whoever la, sends/deliver me a cake to my house at 12 midnight sharp. HAHAHHA, I know its like super old school, but I wanted and likes it to be that way. Last time it happened, was like years ago, when I was in Sec sch. =/

That to me is the most pleasant surprise.

But oh wells.

Hopefull December would be a good nice month for me :)

2010-11-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

I knew I wasn't fully recovered at all. Since this week starts, I was sick and had a bad cough and down with flu. And it got better a little bit. And then a great big swell hit my head for the past few days. I think Im prone to getting headaches. He has been my friend, he comes and goes as he wants to and at times he just comes at a wrong time. He makes me want to bang my head on the wall and he makes me dizzy. He spoils my plans to do things. Not the kind of friend I hope for this period of time. Im guessing the lack of sleep plus Im too tired that I caught flu and fever at the same time. And the most unbearable pain I had to tolerate was the cramp and pull in my stomach. Although it only attack me for a few seconds, it hurts alot.
Tskk tskk tskk.

And to summarise everything up

I feel uncomfortable
I feel suffocated
I feel pressurised at times
I wanna do things on my own
I think I will continue more with it when I remembered what I wanna type.

Boooo

2010-11-12T08:05:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, a family of 5 went shopping together. For the very very first time, Dad actually makes an effort to join his 3 girls shopping at a certain shopping mall and at a certain shop. I was seriously shocked myself but who knows it might turn to be a good start. But it turns out...average??? Hahahahahahhaha. I find myself feeling really breathless at the end of the day after shopping cos you know why? Im trying to explain and make an effort to let him know the trends/fashion teeeage girls like me and sisters but he still maintain his way of style of how teenage malay girls should dress up. Aduiiii father ohh father.

He doesn't allow his girls to wear any sleeveless shirt (FYI, he secretly TORE mine without me knowing(!)) even with jacket, cardigan on
No short skirts and shortss (But I still have it with me! Hehhe!). Not even those 1/4 pants (I do not know how you called it)
If possible long blouses, long dresses, long skirts and looooong jeans all the wayy. If possible semuenye tutup aurat la. Pakai tudung skali pun best jugak kan. Since satu badan dier suruh tutup aje. Hahaha. Aduii ohh aduiiii

And there I go on blabbering to him on what's the use of cardigan and those demin jackets and so on and so forth,(while he goes on arguing that chest could still be seen and such,hahahahah) trying really hard to make him see the point there that we could actually dress somehow conservative in a way or another. And I totally failed to nail it. Ahhh that's my dad. Conservative in terms of dressing, being really sarcastic. But I could take his sacarsm, because it's always deemed funny la kan.
Teenage years don't come twice in you lives so enjoy while you can before you step 20. Dressing up, having fun with friends, riding,party or whatever that teens do nowadays. Because by the age 20, we will be already settling down with work commitments, views of things might change etc. I have always believe that as long as we know our limits, everyone should just live our lives to the fullest. Cos they say, teenage life are the best time of our lives. But some tend to think otherwise.

I am feeling really really really exhausted this whole week. Each time I got back home from school, I needa do and pack up house stuff. Its tiring in a way u need to move to and fro with heavy heavy things in your hand. You need to clean the whole house. You need to do this, you need to that. Super leceh. It literally giving me headaches now and then. My head feels really heavy. Maybe due to lack of sleep. Because again,Mum insisted that I woke up early to help her out before I head tro school =(( But on a lighter note, im temporary staying at my aunt's hse @ Yishun this Sunday!. Hehehhehe. Say hello to North, bye bye West! :D

Ouch~

2010-11-05T04:07:00.000-07:00

Something that I feel I need to say

But up to now I’ve always been afraid

That you would never come around

And still I want to put this out

There are times when I hate you

But I don’t complain

Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away

Galaxy S

2010-10-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

SAMSUNG GALAXY S

I wanna change to this handphone (!)

Hopefully by this or next month, pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeease!!
I don't think I will get it though. The phone's freaking expensive.
Hmm Blackberry maybe?
=.=

Packing up

2010-10-30T07:09:00.000-07:00

Im officially moving out of my Jurong flat on the 14th Nov. Im left with approximately 2 more weeks now! :(( Initially, I thought of joining Boma and cliques for Halloween party at Night Safarii on Sat and Zoo the next following weekend but Mum insisted that I stay home and helped out to pack up things. =((((.

So far, living room, both my sisters and my room, parent's room have already been cleared except for things still needa be used such as clothes, books and some important daily stuff.

Im just left with the kitchen, store and some packing which could be done during the last minute. Its been really really really exhausting yet fun ^^ weekend!

And I didn't know my room has so much garbage(useless things that I still kept ) in it. =/

Tsk tsk.

School wise, it has been........ Okay. Nothing much.

My Primers group mates. I am really proud of them. They managed to complete 50 rounds of running! It doesn't matter what position are they (though I don't even know what position are they in) but its the effort that they put in for this Poly 50 competition. Still being super enthusiastic even after running 50 rounds ans always full of smiles. Well done guys! :D

Menstrual cramps

2010-10-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'll never forget today,27th October on a Wednesday. I really think I had the worst menstrual cramps ever, for now. It occur on my stomach,my back and it made me feel uncomfortable all over causing me to take a deep breath all the time. The cramps started while I was on my way to school till I reached my math class. The pain was sooooooooooooooooo unbearable but somehow I managed to cool myself down in class except that I fidget around alot and at that point of time, I literally am not interested in whatever the lecturer's talking about.
Seriously,menstrual cramps is equivalent to giving birth to a demon child

2010-10-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

If being your friend means appointments, terms and conditions to make your life easy, just to make you happy and everything is about you, I would rather be friends with an electronic diary.

-FB

Heartache!!

2010-10-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Wanna know why I'm pretty much suffering a heartache?

Because I went window shopping with Boma last Friday at vivo and saw lots of beautiful clothes and dresses! But Ive got not enough money on my hands!!

I wanna buy them,even to the extent, I dreamt about it. Tsk! NOT FAIR!

Right now, Im depending so much on my parents since Im not working and such.. Waiting for 25th onwards when our final completion of flat and everything are done and they got the profits. Cn't wait.

Butttttt, one thing is they are abit hesitant to actually gave me some for my shopping. :( Plus plus, I also asked them for a new phone .I'm so waaaaaaaaaaay behind when it comes to handphones.

I need new clothes dear parents. Please understand that your daughter here wants to dress up and look good, feel confident as well. Its not like she spent so much on clothes anyways. Hahahahahahaha.

I needa think on how do I persuade them.

Right now, I feel like.......

Yeah, I feel you Mr Badass Panda....

Bored

2010-10-13T23:02:00.000-07:00

No,I dun really like boring things
I'm not a shopaholic or materialistic,neither am I brand-conscious.
Well if I have got lots of money on my hands, I would want to shop for clothes. Definitely.
I talk to myself most of the time when I'm alone
Ohhhh I love cats very muchas.They are like my cousins and friends and I talk to them(cuz most wud respond)
But I love my cat the most though (:
I love vegetables and fruits.
I've been wanting to grow fat; gain weight ever since I reached puberty.
But instead, my legs grow fatter. Super abnormal. Each time people see me, the keep saying im getting thinner day by day
Nevertheless, I always try my best to grow fat. Hahahahahahhaha
Fickle minded as always.
I wanted to be in Accountancy or Business course. But my points are high to actually enrol in that course.
And now with Computer Engineering, Im so far way back. :( U know I know.
I can get very very dreamy and ambitious when I'm not on track with reality.
I love love love love ice cream <3
I like to be around people who makes me laugh.
Maybe I'll continue some other day.
Bye.

Unworthy

2010-10-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

One who doesn't have the faith in others but think highly of themselves when they are not those perfect little creatures.Beneath those linen wrap,it never tells what's deep down in one's heart.You can never see the sincerity,you can never hear their intentions. People have their own reasons,people have their own excuses. Like for example, they say things that they don't mean it.They call you when there's no one to go to; another meaning to say you are the last option. It happens to me alot of times. Easy to say, these people are all around me.
Not that Im saying that Im not like that. I am. Im very sure everyone else does.
But the people Im refering ; his character and personalities are already like that. Oh wells.

And RESULTS WERE OUT! I wouldn't want to really describe what is it or rather how or whatever laaa.
Seriously, its sastifactory. Nothing to be proud of. :)
No doubt, I'd still have so much room for improvement.

Enough talking about grades.In few weeks time,school's starting already.And I have to get ready to improve on myself,and my grades as well too,insyallah :)
And yeay,I'm on track with Gossip Girl S4, Glee ( I really love the Britney episode)
Plus I have started to watch 90210 episodes like finally. ^^. Just abit only. Since Mum has been nagging to stop using the lappy. Usage of electricity increased and according to my mum, its my fault.
Precisely the reason why I haven't been updating my blog and fb is getting inactive. -.-

Updated!!

2010-09-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

Its been such awhiiiiiiileee since I update this rusty blog of mine. I am having my holidays now and I haven't been busy to update but just plain lazy. PLAIN LAZY. There's not much things going on during this holiday. Its like the normal routine;eat,sleep,lappy,tv, glee,gossip girls,going out and more.Plus, I was so free, and I decided t do something different to my blog. Semangat please.=/

How's raya this year? Well it was okay. I wished I could say that I was enjoying raya like the past few years. There used to be many houses to visit till it seemed like one month was not enough. But the 2nd day of raya feels like any other days of the year. Went out with Sec mates for raya this year. And it was aweosmeee~!! Will upload the pics when I have it with me! I had fun through out the whole journey even though halfway our bus met with an accident. Like what my friend said, it was exciting yet saddening,traumatic incident.

Went to universal studios for YOG appreciation party. I had fun. The place was superb. Well, not all rides are open and available. I mean come on,its free and you want everything there to be opened? Something must be wrong. PLus, I doubt there will be time to play everything! But nevertherless I had fun with the rides, the companion and everything. I am so gonna go there again! I don't mind spending 66 bucks. Its really worth it. And againnnnnn, pics have yet to be uploaded.=/ Grrrrrrr~~..

And then let's see.. I couldn't really remember what is it next. But oh just recently, met up with Boma to catch up on things and such since its beeeeeeeen looooooong since Ive seen her!. We had cold rock ice creammmmmm!Yummehhhh~! Choc Chip Ice Cream if Im not mistaken. I remembered saying I wanted to try that ice cream oh so damn much but didn't always get the chance to do so. And I finally did, after our needs to get slice of life ice cream was such a disappointment since they have already closed down. Really really cheat my heart =/

Cold Rock♥♥

I think that's all for this post.

I want more and more Cold Rock Ice Cream sooooooooooooon~!

Exams

2010-09-13T03:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Semestral Exams Papers,
First and foremost,I really really hope the paper you're testing on me tomorrow is manageable and have not much tricky questions hiding behind those words I see.I have spent a lot of effort (and time) on you,but I'm not sure if I can actually understand you holistically.Please do not give me questions that could turn my hair grey in a faster rate.II like you,because you're pretty interesting and most importantly I like it when I understand you deeper.But it's just this;better not ask me questions that may get the typically wrong answers from students and make me feel like an idiot when I don't notice the trickiness of your questions.Please,I need your marks to produce good results cuz I'm not really at a high-level of confidence over this.

Salam Lebaran

2010-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

I would sincerely like to wish to those who decides to drop by and read(if there's any la), thank you for reading and Selamat Hari Rya to all Muslim Friends out there. And for non muslim friends, happy long weekend holiday ah. Do forgive my harsh language or anything that could have hurt your feelings.
I have been busy mugging for my upcoming exams which is just next week. Other than that, I think Im abit into Jonas Brothers these days. It was all because during one of the days I was mugging hard for exams, so I had a break by watching Jonas series on Youtube. Its awesommeeeeee~! And there is season 2, Jonas LA and Im sooo gonna watch it after my exams yo! I started to hear the songs all over again and such; back to the old typical fan of Jo Bros. Hahahhaa. Its okay though, as long as I don't get too obsessed with them like I used to. :)
........................
All I can't wait for,is not the kuihs,or the new clothes,or the new shoes...I actually can't wait sitting on the sofa like one fat cat and eat rendang with lontong and watching MTV AWARDS 2010....Disney friends and A list oof movie stars and friends are gonna be on Tv on raya Morning. Oh em Jeeeeee!
Hehehehe

I know right there is no link to my blog post about hari raya and suddenly to the Jo Bros. wahahahh! I have no idea what to post next. But then, happy Hari Raya once again people!! :DD

2010-08-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Its the 20th Ramadhan already but I have yet to go to any iftar(s) :/ My Sec mates actually organised one but I was having YOG duty that particular day and I missed out the fun. And the other group of friends. Haven't heard from anyone since then. Apparently everyone is busy with their own things. Haiyaaaaa. Hopefully we will meet during raya or so. Oh hopefully.
Then again, there is so many things for me to do.Even after my exams
Etc Study, Packing of things, Teaching tuition to a P4 kid.(*Im excited about this*), appointments and more la k.
I can't think of any now. Hehehe
But ohhh! Ive got a date with Sit and Khai on the 8th. :) *Happy happy*

Frankly, My family will not really be raya~ing so much this year. Mainly because we are moving out of this 15 year old house and gonna move to a new house. Not so fast actually. Firstly, we are moving to Yishun to stay at aunt's hse since there is some issues over the house at woodlands; some retarded owner have not pay his/her loan or something. Irritating! Moving after raya and yet, me and family haven't even start packing since everyone is busy with their own things as well. Its surely gonna be real hectic when the date is nearer. Real hectic. I definitely do not want that day to arrive. Leceh leh!~

Concentration

2010-08-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Its close to 2.15 in the morning and Im gonna sleep now. Been revising and doing some tutorials for the upcoming Math Semestral Exam. After a whole week, today was the day that I managed to meet my target to complete the things that I wanna do and revise. Like finally,right? Tell me about it. Feeling really stressed!

I just found out that I can really work well when everyone's asleep. Well, what do you expect, distractions here and there in the morning and afternoon, who can concentrate and focus.? =/

Plus, Im so proud of myself today. Normally, I would be very active on Facebook at night and I just can't stop. But not this night. I log in to Fb and in less than 5 minutes or so, I log out and NOT open log in till Im done. The temptation is there and its so strong yet I did not log in till Im done with what I targeted to do. And I managed leh! I was so full of concentration today till I forgot the time!

*Round of applause please!!* Hahahah!

FINALLY!

2010-08-24T08:40:00.000-07:00

My favourite picture. Hahahahha

This was the 1st picture that I took with an athlete. He's from Hungary. Reminiscing back on how we actually asked for a photograph was funny. For me it was epic LOL. Me and Amalina (new friend made) were quite a distance from him and his mates. So since we do not know his name, we just called his country name which is Hungary.

Hungryy hungryy hellooo Hungryy. Excuse me Hungaryy. Hungaryy. Hungaryy! Heloo Hungaryy! HUNGARYY!

And he finally turned. Me and friend were laughing our ass off. Firstly, the name we called is absurd. Amalina called this fella with her kind of voice that all I can do is laughed at. Secondly, both of us are feeling really hungry alrdy and calling thus Hungary fella just makes things funnier or even more hungrier? Hahahahaha?!??!? I know its not funny , but right now as Im typing, Im laughing and whenever Amalina brought that up again, I'd just laugh. Crazy girl

Will upload more pics on FB sooon

Still waiting for pics from some of them.

I miss my friends.

And finallly, I can open up my books and revise in peace. No disruptions. Its time for revision. No more time to waste already.

Greatly agitated

2010-08-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hi,as I typed, Im getting ready for my last day of volunteer and Im trying so so so hard not to have nay vulgarities even though these people Im gonna rant about deserves it,in my opinion la.

My main aim when joining this volunteer work thingy is to meet new friends; fellow volunteers and people from all over the world. Most importantly is to have FUN. I actually did except on the 3rd day. All because of some yaya papaya step supervisor/manager OLD aunty and uncles who only knows how to complain complain and complain. Complain queen.

It all happens on the second day of work, me and a friend actually took photos with some of the athletes and we were scolded because according to them, workforce are not allowed to take photos. (Okay fine. This part till now, I seriously don't understand on why is it sooo wrong to take photos with them. I don't see any wrong doing in that. The athlete actually loved taking pictures) She/He go on complaining that we didn't do our duty well and all we do is just taking pictures. W.T.H. We have already got scolded the next day an then she/he complain again and we got scolded one more time. And as if, you actually did ur job so well like that huh old man and woman? You jumped over the barriers till a whole lot of athletes/coaches followed ur style and making us feeling so helpless when we can't stop them. And we just kept quiet about it not complaining to anyone. Here you are complaining non stop about us. And you also tell to your other fellow volunteers about us making them having a bad impression of us! So what if you are older than me and such? That doesn't necessarily give you the permission to out talk everyone about me and friend. So much for blasting to other fellow volunteers of discipline, good image acts showing that you are so......... good?( I wanna puke.) There wasn't also the need for you to look at me like I've killed your husband and wife.

And thanks to you, I showed my black face almost half of the day.

And as if, twice is not enough, another 2 Malay aunties now really make my blood boil beyond its limit. Knowing that photos are not allowed, me and friend just asked politely " Excuse me, I thought photo taking are not allowed for workforce?"

Her reply was: " You just shut up. We finished our duty! MYOB! Go and do your duty well!

I was utterly shocked! What a rude aunty! And what's more she was wearing as scarf. And she goes on asking us questions wanting to complain to my manager and such. I try to talk to her on it. And she go on saying me and friend: " Perangai kurang ajar eh. Blah blah blah I wanna complain to ur manager manager. Tell me her name!" Go on la. Like I bloody hell care. I was so pissed I actually showed my back to her and ignore whatever she wanna say till one of the manager from different departments came over and helped . And she finally shut her freaking mouth up knowing that both of them are in the wrong. Shame on you. So much for being older and you are supposed to think maturely yet behaving like one teenage gangster.

Y'know, I have thoughts of kicking every asses of those act-big-yayya papaya-step manager-supervisor of those bunch of elderlys and that probably ruined the whole day. I definitely do not, do not not not not not like people to step over my head. I may just be a girl and you whole bunch of people mcm phm Elderly manager/supervisors volunteers BUT I definitely DON'T NEED people to cross over the line.

Why Ohh Gee

2010-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

Day one of the YOG for me are done. Left with Sat,Sun and Mon and Im done for good. So far so good except that they are some nasty and I mean very nasty coaches and athletes who are super unreasonable. Plus Im a very temperamental person. I get really angry easily when they are against me. Really angry.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself as I got to see a close up of the athletes. OH AM GEEEEEEEEEE! ;D Hot hot hot. Seriously! Some of them are really friendly and they just talk to you like as if you have known them and such. I am so gonna pester my TL,Audrey, on Sat to put me on a nice nice spot where I can really get a good view again. Hehehehehehehehehe :DD
I somehow feel that there were loads of volunteers stationed everywhere but it seems like the number of volunteers outweigh the number of spectators.Other than that security is super tight. I can see frustrations on many of their(athletes,coaches,spectators,media) faces and I even overheard something bad abt the system/policies :( Neh!

And NDP outing was awesome. I looveee it. I had fun!

Look at all their faces.

Needless to say, everyone enjoyed the outing.( I think there's something wrong with that phrase. Sorry la, my Eng is very powderful)

♥

Appreciation Dinner

2010-08-16T07:48:00.000-07:00

NDP Motivators appreciation dinner was super duper awesome!! It was held at Redhill Touch Community Theater. It was of course filled with performances by the other motivators from other schools in which I really think they are up there,on the stage, to seek extra attention.HAHA. I love the part where the mentors did their appreciation performance for us. It was really sweet and touching till it got all the audience shouting "Rewwwwinnnnd Replaaay" and the mentors really perform them one last time.

The cupcake I made for my group mates.

The icing actually melt so thats why it doesnt look that nice in this picture.heehheeh =/

But what made the night most memorable was the appreciation gifts that each one of us gave to our dearest group members. I made for them cupcakes(pic above) with sprinkled hearts on top to show that I really appreciate them. Actually with the help of my dearest cousin as well. She did most of the baking.
And it turns out many of them like the cupcakes cos its yummehh~licious. ooooh! I felt so happy.
We had a so called mini prize presentation from JW,Jonathan and HZ. As the night is getting really late, we just gave out our appreciation gifts and not do the prize presenting.
I was really really touched by their gifts. Really am. Its the efforts and thoughts that counts even though its just a simple card. But I really loved Jia Wei's gift; the thick booklet.

Sticky Sweets and A short note from Mentors;Jonathan and HZ.

Thick lecture notes from Module Coordinator, Diploma in Catch the Mouse ah, Jia Wei @

School of Nonsense. :DD (Look at the number of pages)

I love this. I read every page and I go awwwwww~!

Blogger is being such an ass again. If its not, I would definitely want to upload the each of the appreciation gifts that was given to me. But yeaaaaaaaaa!

So tadaaaaaa! These are all the gifts that was given to me by my group mates. Like I said, I really feel damn touched.Soo in love with my group. Best gift ever. Hahhaaha. We became so close at such a short period of time. Even though Im always the one missing on the outings and seldom reply msges by them esp if its from my crazy GL, they are still there and tried to keep us very intact. =DDDDDD

*Hint Hint to whoever is reading la k*

I hope to have like this lots of birthday presents on birthday. Other than cards and such right, maybe shoes, bags, clothes, the jeans pants that I wanted *ehem ehem*, something huggable,something that I can keep and remember.

OH YEA! I LOVE CHOCOLATES AND ICE CREAM.

If no choice aldy just bring me go makan okay? hahahhaha :D

Okayla okayla OKAY fine. I know I very the tak tau malu! Heheh.

Badass

2010-08-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

I don't want to waste my time and thoughts on people like these. But its hard to ignore when it keeps coming back, I would have to do something abt it. Feel me people?
Patience Hanis patience.

I LOVE SPORE!♥♥♥

2010-08-10T06:04:00.000-07:00

9th of August is already over! But I really really really missed those times I had during training and etc. No doubt Im gonna participate it again next year even though Ive grown another 2 tonnes darker. Hahahahaha. :D
Basically, the day started off like normal. These time round, more camwhoring(700photos),excitement,jokes and everyone are very very hyped up for the event. I swear (like again) Im sooooo excited!! And it all went well.The audience were superb(!) They were really friendly,very hyped up and it kinda just make things easy for me. Heh!
During the one voice section, we were reciting the pledge and singing the natinal anthem, I feel the immense pride in me. I LOVE SPORE AH. Sorry la, bear with my patriotic~ness awhile. You know my love for Spore deepened after being involved in NDP. HAHA(!) K2.

And the best part was the fireworks and also after the show(!) I love it! The fireworks was awesome;I just felt so happy when watching them.Its really beautiful. And when the show ends, all the performers of NDP2010 gather at the Padang stage area for some appreciation video and some champagne thingy from the executive committee(if im not wrong ah). And then without kowing, everyone of performers start to get very friendly and we mix around with the other performers; Other motivators, the SAF robo warriors, kids from YioChuKang Sec,People's Asscociation, SOKA and the rest la k. Actually come to think of it, we mix around just to have our photos taken with them and their colourful costumes. Hahahaahha! I was looking for a person high and low everywhere but he was either difficult to find or he's reaaaaallly far away from me and Im actually very the malas to walk. The padang is freaking big okay.Nvm. Anyways, It was really awesome la! I super love it. ♥♥

With one of the PA's performer

With the SAF robo warriors AKA Lobsters. (Pssst; They look like lobsters with their costumes)

They are cool and I like! :D

And hello NDP SP3,

The people whom Ive been spending my Saturdays with almost every week!

everyone is like sad and such because there is no more Saturday to spend together. But we have other events!! RIO camp and etc. NDP won't be the last meeting!! :DDDDD

I went home carrying 3 bags. I definitely look like one mad girl somewhere. It was heavy and I had such a loooooonng journey but its all worth it.

I love Spore.

BYE!

Random

2010-08-06T07:32:00.001-07:00

"You never realise how much you like that person until they start to like someone else."

Frustrations

2010-08-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

To whoever it may concern;

Slacker = Lazy Attitude =Last Minute Work = No efforts= A piece of shit of assignments.

Bullshit. Full of bull.

I went home today feeling super super pissed off with attitudes that I thought I would never encounter when it comes down to important assignments. I have been really patient with your slacky attitude for quite awhile. Its time I vent it all out. I won't be confronting but all I will be doing is show my temper and my attitude. Ive put in alot of effort and all you give me is a piece of last minute work; a SIMPLE job in which I thought you could do, turns out to be something so ugly. Even my sister thought so too. Assignments is no joke. And what's more, semester's gonna end soon. Please oh please. Probably being off as one and standing alone shouldn't be such a bad idea if its really benefiting me. Its not like we have to depend so much on others anyway.

You wanna have that slacky attitude, go ahead. Don't bring me down with it. I need and I really want to do well. Its a wake up call for me. I do not know about you. Stop asking me to relax and such because I am CONCERNED about my studies. Unlike you, the happy go lucky fella.

Im done.My day is ruined and Im such an angry girl today all because of you.

I doubt he will be reading this. ~~But if he does, HEY, this is just for you.~~ I wasted my 10 mins blogging abt you. See how pissed I am now.

Another thing, to whoever again it may concern, I am feeling stress with school wise and all these stupid things. I hope home will be the right place where I feel stress free and secure. All I am doing now is my very best to make all of you proud of me. A letter won't prove anything,yet. I am really hurt by the words that you said to me that night. It was as though I really am not interested in my studies at all and you gave up on me. Just so you know, Im trying real hard.

I stayed up all night and sleep so late doesn't really mean Im facebooking,chatting and such. Im doing my assignments. Putting in effort even though I do not know some of it. Do not always think otherwise of me can? It really brings me down. A whole lot.

=(((((((((

Update.

2010-08-02T08:11:00.000-07:00

Im so grateful and happy now. My not that so old flip Samsung phone baby is back! Actually, Im more concerned for the phone because that phone originally belongs to my favourite uncle and he lend it to me till I get a new one (In which Dad says I will get it next year or wait till we officially move to a new house! TSK!) I quickly gave him a call once I got hold of my phone back. And ohhh the girl who found the phone was a RP motivator. I waited for her at Vivo, Seah Im carpark for almost three hours till both my parents got really impatient . And yes I asked her the questions I wanted to ask and one of the reason was she's tired thats why she didn't call or reply any msges back.=/ There's more but yeah,I'll tell you when I see you. LOL.

I actually have lots of question to ask, but that feeling of "I got my phone back aldy!" is overwhelming plus my heart beats really fast( I have no idea why ah) so I just said "Okay See you on Monday" Oh yea oh yea! Ohh ohhh(!) I coincidentally bumped into Hasri. Long time no see eh Kentot. Heh.

And also grateful to my NDP grp3 mates. Knowing that my phone was lost/stolen or whatever,all of them, I mean ALL, spam my phone with non stop calls and sms. Those who had unlimited sms(majority of them does) keep spamming non stop till their phone hang or got no reception. Awwwww.To think even Jia Wei my crazy crazy GL, spam my phone during the NDP preview show. I really really appreciate their efforts. Thank you guys.♥♥

Anyways, I went to wacth the YOG rehearsal last Friday, its super boring I swear. I think the usherer did a very bad job. Me and Nini walked 1 and a half round, no, make it 2 rounds from esplanade to F1 pit to Floating platform,I think. Horrible. We were ushered in halfway during the show. Nevertheless, I had fun with the companion I had of course. :D:D

Classic Picture. The mouth like mcm fish sedut air tak terjadi punye. Hahahahaha

Handphone was lost
NDP preview was awesome!!!!! I really can't wait for the actual day la you know. Heheheheheh.

Ramadhan's coming in less than two weeks time :D Im so called excited to break fast with my usual Sentosa people and my Sec Friends.:D
I will be working for only 4 days during YOG. That should be quite okay I guess. Enough time for me to study my other modules. I have been spending too much time on assignments that I completely ignored my school work. Esp my Math.
This week is last week of school(!) Oh yeaaaa!!

Lost Hp. :(

2010-08-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Its 1.28am in the morning and I wanna blog about my suay~ness day I had on my Saturday and the boring event I watched on the Friday. But I seriously do not have the "I-wanna-blog" mood.
All because I lost my handphone.It really affects my day a whole lot.. My Samsung flip phone was lost within 5 minutes!! @#$$% %^!!! I mean, its an old phone, not really that new, why ohh why do you still wanna take it and not return it back to me after lots of SMS Spams and calls from my group members?!??!??!?!!?
I'll continue blogging another day. Super tired plus Ive got no mood already ahhh!!

2010-07-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

You wanna know something? The night before I went to bed, after doing assignments, I was chatting with a friend and then something crossed my mind. So as I lay down on my bed, I thought about it and planned to blog it all out. Even got all the sentences ready in my brain.

Now, as I stare on my screen, my mind was blank I totally forgot what to write. Totally. Wth righht?

Oh wells,nvm. Now back to powerpoint presentation. There's still lots to be done.

Sleepy,no?

2010-07-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

Ever had this "Hi,I wanna sleep but I can't sleep" feeling?Yes,everything's wrong with me.I can't sleep early,I delay things that I have to do and I'm still crazy over Glee.Siaw. Well not really.
Because of this also, I guess my eyebags now weighs 5kg. Tsk TsK Tsk.
And now I'm still not asleep.I think I'm gonna get cranky tomorrow.Oh wells I've always had cranky mornings,it can even drag until the later part of the day. But since tmr's NDP training, it should be quite okay I guess.
I've got alot of work this week,and I really really am exhausted.I wish I could get away from town and go somewhere that could take my mind off these things.And my cat seems very responsive these few days..she responds to me.I think. Very good cat.
I think I get better response from cat than people.

SPookster.

2010-07-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

On a Thursday, Me and Nini (and turns out Kan Xuan was also there!!) went audition for halloween SPookster and I swear I really embarrassed myself real bad(!) I took such a long time to act my ghost scene (Lady combing hair) because I really do not know what to do other than just combing hair.(I even messed up my hair =/) And and and I gave my cold stare! I definitely look very funny! But they wanted more scary acts with the voices and such and then I go 'uhhhh??' I think the interviewer got fed up with me. HAHAH! So paiseh you knowwww. Shyyyyyy! And it was Nini's turn. I do not know what kind of ghost she acted but it was real fast plus Im sure she looks funny as well la. :P :P Hahah! And Ohhhh, Kan Xuan and his friend, Kan Cuan was greeeeaaaatttt!! They did real well. Nampak aje innocent2 and senyap,tapi biler audition jadi hantu... FUUHHH!
I somehow agree with Nini. Want to be a ghost also need audition???

I was thinking that when we had the make up on plus some trainings, Im sure we could feel the character that we are supposed to do and such. Thats what I think la kaaannnn =/ Ok crap.

And then again, both of us are just trying it out for fun :)))

2010-07-19T21:07:00.001-07:00

I am gonna move to a house in Woodlands. Dad and Mum just signed whatever papers that needs to be sign yesterday! Aiyaaaaa~
http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

Last Night

2010-07-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Evening, to be exact, On the Friday Evening, was awesome.Not only that the movie is awesome but I had great company with Boma and the usual cliques watching Despicable Me @ cathay Causeway. And then we had dinner at Seoul Garden(even though we waited long since it was crowded); Nesh treated us. Thank you Nesh!! :D:D
I swear the I was super full aldy since I had small stomach la(small appetite) but I continued eating since its buffet mah. I will be the one at lost if I just ate abit. So might as well gobble up everything. HAHA! After that we hang out outside Causeway Point and play "Moment of Truth" while waiting for my cousin to fetch me. Everybody was asking those uhh-u-know-those matured-questions. I rarely see them so open minded,cheeky and naughty; that was my first time seeing them like that? Hahahahaah. I had fun.The game is really exciting somehow! Lets play again! Hohohoho :))))

Today's NDP was awesome. Everybody was high, I was high.
And we did well today. Our X was really good, we were hyper and did well in motivating the crowd. This week is so much better than last week.

Good Job guys! :D
http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-07-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

So many things to do yet so little time. I suck at time management. Body has always been over mind. Slacking.
Omg all these have to stop. But how?? Alamak! Headache.

Did I???

2010-07-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

This is my Crazy GL, Jia Weiiiiii~ Thanks to her my nickname is "Ghost" =/

Did I mention that we had NDP NE show 1? Oh yea I didnt.

Yes, we had it but the area where I am stationed at doesn't have any P5 kids. Its the normal audiences. Nevertherless, Its much better than last week la. But I wanted to get the P5 kids on my sector cos they are really super duper hyper and It kinds of make my job easier. Hehehehehehehehh. Lets hope I get them this coming Saturday. Pleaseee :(

Did I mention I saw Taufik Batisah? *screamsss*!

YESS! I SAW HIM AT PADANG! We were rehearsing for this X formation thingy and he walked past. I didn't know it was him(since hes wearing shades) and what's more from my side, I couldn't really have a good look. Plus he looks abit fatter! HAHA! Its only I realised some of the RP girls were saying HI and kinda mention his name and making so much flirty noise, only then I knew its him. Slow! That's where me and friends couldn't concentrate on anything and not even on getting the X formation done but all we concentrated on was to get his attention by waving and shouting his name. And he waved back! YAY~NESS LA. "Aduiiiii melts. Seriously melts la."

Did I mention the food sucks?

YES! The food sucks. The food from (SFI)Spore Food Industries.Its kinds of look tempting but when we taste it.... urghhh eww. Really really cheat my heart only.=( Week by week its getting suckier and suckier. Hahahahaahhaha. I don't even know if there's such word. Pizza hut and KFC are still our all time favourites.

Did I mention Boma and Myself needs anger management?

Hahahaah, yes both of us have temper problems.Mine is more to easily irritated. (HAHA!) And yes she kinda have the same problem as me, it makes it easy for me to talk to her about whatever we are going through. But then, her normal advise is to relax =/ Hahahaha. Whatever it is, Im sure we could manage our anger and hope everything would be just fine yea? Meet soooooooooon pleaseeeeee~!

Did I mention I had such wonderful Best Friends?

Yes, I had such wonderful Best Friends who is concerned for me. Really apprciate it alot alot.! Thanks Khai and Siti for being there. And thanks Khai for the talk we had the other day. I really couldn't ask for more. ♥

Did I mention Im having a bad flu now?

Yes, I am indeed having a bad flu.Lucky I had my leftover medicines which could still be consumed. I even skipped my tutorial bcos I wasn't really feeling well.Now having headaches and such. If you were to notice,some of my my previous post is about being sick. Hahaha! Better stop here.

Did I mention I had fun with the people in the pictures above?

YES! I DID! I am always looking forward to Saturdays to spend time with the people above. It will just be pure laughters,jokes, nonsense,lame~ness,craziness and so on. Whats more the 5 days of schooling has been such a stressful week for almost all of us with assignmnets and such. So Saturday is a free day where we all let loose everything and just have fun. I is loving it alot!

Did I mention Im gonaa sleep early?

I am gonna sleep early today. There is no point of me staying up but still can't concentrate on doing anything and all I do is sneeze and sneeze and sneeze! Plus I have taken my medication and the drowsy effect is gonna come anytime soon. Plus with this cooling weather and snuggling up to my bed is gonna be pure luxury. Hahahahah.

So Toodles!

(p/s sorry for the looooonnnggg post!)

Just now

2010-07-08T01:13:00.000-07:00

I think I just wasted my trip to school. Lecturer was on MC on that day itself and she sent the note through school email in which I and everyone else seldom check. And to think we waited for almost 20 mins till a friend of mine decided to check her email using Iphone or Ipod Touch( I dunno what she used) since this lecturer way of style is sending emails. Haiyaaaaaaa~!
Then now my back ache terribly (heavy bag),halfway in school I had gastric pain and my usual terrible headache.
I definitely do not want to have a date with the doctor again.

I received email from YOG and Im posted to Bishan Stadium. So far. I still have yet to accept the offer. Im starting to think twice. Hahahahaha.(Tu la, dulu bukan main excited lagi! Mcm ye ye aje Hanis nie.) Cos it would be the fasting month already plus I need to commit minimum 7 days. And then there's semestral exam after that;I was thinking of revising. Haiyaaaaaaaa~!

Bothered?

2010-07-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

And yea, go on, go tell the whole world what a bad girl I am. Go bring up the past which has already been long past and settled. Go tell everybody and let the whole world know. And because of that, everyone will blacklist me like how my fav close uncle and auntie did to me. Go Go on. I'm tired. I don't care what others think about me, I just know myself well. Let them look at me through a different point of view for all I really care, cos I-really-couldn't- be-bothered-anymore. Let Me be always and I mean ALWAYS be the bad one while you the GOOD one =/

I defintely do not want to waste my teenage life being emotionally bruised. What's more life is too short to get so stupidly messed up like this.

I want to focus more on being happy during these teenage life(Since majority say that Teenage days are the best!), focus on my studies so as to get good grades to make my parents, esp my Dad proud since he's too concerned plus worried over my studies. I definitely do not want to disappoint him anymore since he has high expectations of me.

That's my main aim for now.

Tight

2010-07-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

The time now is close to 12 .30am Guess what? Im done with my assignment. More of like 50% done. I couldn't possibly finish it all as it reuqires to use some software and such; what's more its way too last minute. And its not because Im lazy to do and wait till the end but more of like, Im Hanging. Stuck at one particular part and I can't move on to the other. And it dragged me and this small little cute brain of mine for days till I can't take it anymore and decides to seek help. Special thanks to Nuning who decided to stay back after school today to help me out with it. Thank you very much. Really appreciate it. (Though its only 50% done. Hahahaa)

This week has been such a stressful week. Im rushing for so many things yet so little time. 2 or 3 assignments left(there's one I hated the most but no choi ah!) plus my Math;the topic Satistics is getting on my nerves. I have yet to do some revision on it. I have forgotten some of my term 1 studies(HAHAHA!FML!) I suck so much at time management. Hellppppppp~!
I definitely can't wait for Saturday to come. :D
Plus I need some ice cream. Its been awhile.
http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

First Experience

2010-07-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

HAHAHAHAH! I look like a clown =/
3rd July was a Saturday and as usual for me I had NDP training. But on that day,we had audiences. They are from the performers,marching contingent and whoever is in part of NDP,family's members and friends in which they were given tickets to watch the show. There was like 27000 people and the padang is like just half filled. (Imagine on the day itself!!)And of course we had our err super duper "nice" shiny costumes and even though with the bad weather, we feel the heat since our costumes are all covered up. =.= And also the goodie bag! Its nice! They say its a designer bag. Plus the designs are nice (my opinion la)

Anyhoos, I was stationed at the front of the yellow sector on the right which means I have to face like majority of the ppl who are seated there. But unlucky for me, most who are seated at the front on that day are...... the Elderly's. So of course during our first meeting we were kinda awkward so we take some time to warm up and such;we do ballooning and gives to those who wants it (I do the pumping cos I forget how to sculpture it! Kental) When the show started, it really starts to get exciting and such but their reaction are still the same ahh. No doubt they are indeed excited but its just that they don't respond to me,Us. I shout/motivate but its still no use. Sedih nak mampos.Waste my breath/voice only and make me feel so paiseh. Hahahhaa. They concentrated more on the screen then us.Me! Or maybe we are not that motivating enough. I do not know. When it starts to get dark and then only they are excited and respond in a way or another la. Funny much.
Overall its okayla since its my first experience/encounter with the audience;I kinda know what to expect on that day. Hhaa. Next week, the audiences would be the Primary 5 kids and Im excited!! This should be easy peasy.

I saw Amir/Halim, we will kind of bumped into each other during the finale and I can't really go up to them and talk cos my group is always rushing here and there plus we need to be fast and etc! What's more they kinda far from me and are busy with their own things,etc and we can only glance. So we planned to call or text each other after the show to take pictures on the stage together maybe during the next few trainings?. (Which I do not know whether I can since my incharge is around us and such) But yeah, lets just try! :))

Anita Said:

2010-07-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

Anita said:

"Hanis sweetie, there are opportunities for deep sharing, and powerful,meaningful contacts with others, especially people who share common goals or ideals."

I definitely, very the definitely need to do some sharing soon. I couldn't possibly hold it into me for long. Trust me, I can't. And I need powerful and meaningful advices. But the people that I wanna share with doesn't really share the same ideals or maybe, problem as me.Sorry for being so troublesome Seriously.

Now I have lots assignments to complete and there's even one that I have to hand it by Tuesday I still have not yet completed it ahhhhhh! Then then I feel so lazy! Really lazy.

What is wrong with me?

All your fault.

Worried

2010-06-29T03:20:00.000-07:00

I gotta admit I am losing the essence of studying now.This is really not good.Not good. After what happened to me previously, I have that kind of strong determination to do well and not slack anymore. But I do not know,I don't feel like studying because it finally feels so hard to be the leading one. I want to improve my GPA so much but I do not know why I had that losing essence feeling, it worries me like Im hell wasting my time. The interest is gone. The willingness is gone. I just wanna sleep all day and have a problem free world of my own. How ahhhhhhhh?

I've got back my MST's papers and I think I did good. I don't really know how do I define the word "good" but somehow I kinda feel satisfied about it but you know we could always do better,improve ourselves :)

And Im glad to know that Ive done well for my forward module. A so called big jump indeed. If only I did well for that module last year,being attentive in class and not being so playful, I wouldn't have to re-sit for it again. But then what's passed has passed. Im gonna make sure I'd better for my semestral exam.

I guess I just need sometime to get back that willingness, determination, interest (whatever) that I used to have. Or maybe, Im just so into the holiday mood.

And Thank you very much Siti, for today. Im really grateful that you are there and can entertain my nonsense and non stop blabering.HAahahhah. Meet up sooon with Khai as well.♥
http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

Happiness in Within

2010-06-27T01:03:00.000-07:00

We had Fun. I really enjoyed myself. :))
Its been awhile since Ive seen all of you.
We meet soon yeah??? :D

Emotionally Bruised?

2010-06-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

If you are my frequent readers (which I think there's none), you will noticed that I actually deleted my previous post on over sensitive. I guess I am going to do another proper post now huh?

Would it be better if you don't pass your your bad anger genes to me?

I have to put up with your nonsense, every nagging of yours. Of course it won't really matter if you if you start scolding because of our mistakes. But finding faults over small things seems to exxagerating already. Same goes to being over sensitive. And then you elaborate everything under the sun and involve things that has long passed and settled.

Useless. I study hard because of you.(Okay, maybe not now la) but definitely I really try after what happened to me before. Whatever that I wanna do, I always thought of you, I think hard because I do not wish to hurt you anymore. Whatever values you taught me, I keep it to heart and uphold it because I definitely do not want to disappoint you anymore again.

Because all those misery I couldn't bear to see you in such a state, I am always the first to always be there for you in whatever terms. Not that I am being so calculative here, but in anything, you will always find me being there, having the initiative of doing anything, first. And now,all this happened is because of your over sensitive~ness. You started your over sensitive~ness feeling involving me when clearly I do not even know why. Even if I do, like I said, its minor so why to the extreme extend? I am always the one, Always being involve when I am not the one doing anything wrong(as in small matter). I listened to everything you wanted me to do, even the things that I do NOT want to. But I did. \
Now what? I feel sorry for myself having people who is unappreciative of my existense, making my life as miserable as ever.
I have not come across this kind of ppl who actually do these kind of actions to your own child. Childish much.

And again your "extreme" naggings. (Understand understood la okay you alls.)

Every time you be like this, my tears welled up. My heart hurt alot. Not because you scolded me or what, its just that I feel sorry for myself and for you after hours and hours of self refelction. I can't find peace in myself. I definitely cant. =(( And that feeling goes on with me everyday. Im so fragile. How am I gonna do this? =(((((((

Cute Glee.

2010-06-24T08:15:00.001-07:00

Aaah Glee is so cute. Im just at episode 4 since I focused more on GG previously and its really damn funny. There is one part that the rugby team needs just one more score within a few seconds, so the captain and one of the members led by a Gay fella,Kurt(Kurt is gay yet he is a good kicker in Rugby! It will get longer if I explain it here so go watch it okay) decides to a dance that they learned during Glee Club.So called to distract their opponents. Imagine all the huge guys dancing on the field to Beyonce's Single Ladies. All of them(!) It had me laughing non stop and I'd go 'aawwww sooooooo cute' (It really is!) and I kept replaying that part over and over again. Their dance is freaking cute and nice!!
Aaaah total sweetnessss!!~

2010-06-21T07:24:00.001-07:00

"Its so lonely when you don't even know yourself"

3AM

2010-06-20T11:18:00.001-07:00

3AM (like Enimen's album eh) the other night,was such a totally freaked out hell for me. (Okay not really la, Im like exaggerating abit here). I woke up in the mid morning/night with a horrible flu,bursting out in tears as if my I've got a boyfriend who leaves me for another girl, all because I couldn't have a peaceful sleep when I am really dead beat. The swelling pain in my head made me feel like I should knock my head against the wall with full force and faint so that I won't have to feel the pain any more. I have been having frequent headaches these few days and it just make me feel so weak if that happens. And so that night, with that headache together with the horrible flu, its just making it worse. Knowing that I am afraid of the dark, I tried to wake my sis up but she slept like a log so I had to make my way to the kitchen all by myself. Sad riighttt. Make me cry some more. =( Lucky I heard Nala's(my cat) bell when I went out of the room, she meowed and followed me to the kitchen. At least there's a companion. Took some flu left over medicines that I still had left and sit on the dining table (yes,still crying) and Nala looked at me as if I am a freaking monster. With this flu that Im having, it made my nose itchy and I keep rubbing my whole face and nose and make some face action with it;I think somehow it looked like the picture above. I hate having flu, I really do.

And so,I headed back to the room all alone again. I do not know what happened because I completely doze off due to the medicines. What I remembered was Nala's bell that kept ringing maybe because she wants to sleep with me or either she played marble all alone outside the living room actively that cause the bell to ring all the time.

I had my first training at Padang! Its so much fun even though with the hot sun. With the soldiers wearing such smart uniforms(you gotta see this! Heh!), to the performers wearing such cute costumes with the atmosphere and all, everything is just so great! Me and my group head over to esplanade waterfront(ehem,my fav place) because we are looking for drinks(funny much) and then there are fireworks. Its so beautiful! The people who laze around that area, stopped whatever they are doing to watch the fireworks. Its actually to rehearse it for the actual day itself, so there will be fireworks every week near padang/esplanade. To think they waste so much money for rehearsing fireworks every week just for National day.

Ohh, I am looking forward to Fri! YAYY! Having a gathering with Boma and friends whom I haven't seen in awhile. I seriously can't wait.
And my body is still achiiiiinngggg like mad ahh! My butt still hurts ahhh! PAINN!~

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

Night Cycling

2010-06-16T07:07:00.002-07:00

Im gonna have night cycling tmr night till Fri Morning. According to the GL,its gonna be 12hrs of cycling. Im like so dead. Its like its been awhile I actually cycled and I do not know whether tomorrow, I could actually cycle. It just takes awhile for me to actually adjust here and there.

And then it reminds me of those times during I cycle with my sentosa peeps! That was such a long time ago; we started around 5 or 6 in the evening plus and end around 11 plus at night or so on that day itself. It was so so so tiring and had my butt,leg and my whole body aching!! The thing i dread the most is the looooooong ,never ending pathway to from east coast to changi there. I had difficulty sleeping as well because the whole muscle cramps on my body overpowers everything. I went to work next day with all the cramps; can't even sit on the flat floor and everyone who went, complain of the same thing!Hahah!I actually vowed not to cycle from east coast to changi ever again, and then here I am going night cycling with Primers tomorrow. =.= And its 12 hours somemore. Eveything is gonna ache la. Haha.

Say hello to night cycling tomorrow which is equivalent to The Ride to Hell

2010-06-12T10:34:00.003-07:00

I had YOG training today and lucky for me I had a friend;my NDP group memeber,Anselm, is also in the same EVS volunteer with me. So we went, together with his friend, and let me tell you that the lecture/training is such a bore. zzzzzzZzzz~! The content is very important (some of it though) but I thought maybe the speaker could do a better job in trying to make the training much more interesting. Its like,YOG,hello (?!),the biggest event in Spore ever and the way you deliver it was as if we are having some school lecture. Within one hour, Anselm and myself got really restless and even have the thought to sneak out but somehow we persevere and just listened on.In a way or another,Im kinda looking forward to the next YOG training where we will be having orientation on the duties that we are gonna carry out. Excited.

And we headed down to city hall for photo hunt event which is a very short one unlike the previous events&and I wonder why. And the rest of the day is spent with NDP grp 3. Great.

Time spent with family/uncles/cousins was awesome though its only for a short while.

Its been such a long day. I definitely need some rest now. Feeling so sluggish and lethargic.

But trust me, I won't be sleeping till like a few hours later.

End of MST!

2010-06-08T07:23:00.000-07:00

Tssssskkkk, my fringe!!!

MST's are over and Im so happy. I can finally have a good rest and plan for something during my two weeks break. So far what I have for the two weeks break is SP primers Night Cycling, NDP training cum Primers Event and YOG training(which is so not consistent ah, -_-).
Its so mundane. I wanna go out with friends, my ladies. Talking about ladies, Farhana is having her birthday chalet this Sat. But my parents doesn't allow me to go and told me to spend time with family since in the morning, Im having YOG training, afternoon till late evening; Primers event and such. So instead of continuing the day with my friends @ chalet, I have to go out at night and spend time with Family/Uncles/Cousins since I seldom went out with them due to my NDP/Primers which takes up most of my weekend. I is sad you know. I wanna go and celebrate her birthday as well as to meet up with the rest. Sad rigggghhhttt.:((

My fever has already subside (alhamdulilah) butttt im left with a dizzy headache and sore throat that felt like it has been stabbed many times.(okay, not funny).....
I was looking through my school calendar and I realised after the 3 weeks YOG break, I have semestral exam straight the week right after that.In which I need to study with full force and at the same time having my volunteers activities thingy and such. I sucks so much at time management. But its okay, I can do it. I know I can. Plus the semestral exam is NEAR HARI RAYA and my paper might even be during the Raya period. Hello? Well its okay. My parents always said that is good to study/have exams during fasting month, dapat berkat.....
Actually the main reason im blogging is because Im bored, Ive just got nothing to do right now since Im done with my MSTs and such.
I wanna watch Nightmare on Elm Street! Im such a scardy cat I know I am, but I really wanna watch that movie!. Anyone?????????
http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-06-02T03:07:00.000-07:00

Remember those times when we were so close, we talked about this 'scenario',that if you remembered. Unfortunately for me,that 'scenario' happened. Because of this particular scenario, we became abit distant from each other.I feel it. And Im gonna just keep mum about it and see how distant we will go (In which I DO NOT EVER want it to happen la, but but but...)
Friend, I want it to be like those days when my ringtone text msg rings, I knew it would be from you, texting me, about anything under the sun. :D

Mind over Body?

2010-05-31T06:56:00.002-07:00

Im so sick. I cannot speak. :((

My fever hasn't subside but instead it increase further more. From 38.3 to 38.5 to 38.8. MST is only a week away. Though its only a few papers, its content, is something that I need to stuff it in my brain. With this horrible flu that keeps interrupting me during my revision every two minute plus fever which made me weak and my eyes hot, I tend to have a rest and rest and rest and resttt~~ Obviously, mind over body. Waste my time. Ive been taking panadols and panadols, but to no avail. Looks like I have to see the doctor. But everyone at home is so busyyy with their own things and I wonder and wonder whether they know that Im actually siiiickkkk ah. Sad you know :(
And I didnt know my sisters are that sweet. They actually helped me do my household chores and such. Awwwww <3 Im not really that close to them due to the age gap and to think they helped me is something 'wow' for me since all I do is quarrel quarrel quarel with them. Thank You!

So today Monday, I declared a so called Rest Day for myself. hahaha! Only Monday la. Can't take it anymore you know. And next day is gonna be mind over body. Even if I havent recovered, I STILL have to do my revison. No time to waste dudes!

Get well soon Hanis =//

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-05-25T10:16:00.000-07:00

Im secretly wishing that my time would just slow down and abide on to my orders on when to stop and not. But it won't happen. Me and my imaginary thoughts. =//

How’s life for everyone? I hope it goes fine.Unlike mine, I’m so stressed. Okayla. Not that really stressed. I think why people came out with the term “a train of thoughts” is because during train rides are the most best time to have a string of thoughts lining up to be thought of until the arrival of your destination. (OMG I actually thought of this paragraph during one of the train rides). Well as for me I have to face at least 1 train ride per day,or if not 2 of it,so that made my brain keep thinking of a stretch of lengthy list,like,what to do after school? What should I do now? How do I manage my time well? Should I be revising instead of sleeping/chatting on msn?How do I decrease the distractions around me? Should I commit too much of my time in CCA? How to save more money? Should I take my car license already? And the list is never ending.....

To update, ive attended first week of NDP training and its AWESOME.Somehow in a way im looking forward to it though Ive got better ideas on how to spend my weekend. Neh,its okayy. :D AND OH.. I NEED MY RIVERRRRRR . Boma Azili where are you? Please plan a day river~ing with me. Not forgetting my ice creammmmm! SLICE OF LIFE! And my ayam penyet as well.
I miss miss miss miss miss miss my Sentosa Peeps damn much! :((( I was uploading pics on FB and I looked through the photo album and such..oh oh those times. Those good memories. Marini also damn rindu please. Hahah. There is a certain or two that I miss hell lots. But its okay! Look on the bright side of life HANIS!
(I still have two or three that are close with me and I really treasure them!)
OK bye. :)))

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

Formspring Me:D

2010-05-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hhahahhaha. Im such a noob, I really am. Ive just created formspring and Im still trying to know how to use it. Bear with my blur-ness and slowness please. hahaah!
http://www.formspring.me/honneyss
Ask me anything. :D ------------------- (The box on right hand corner)

2010-05-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

Whoaa... I think Im gonna get myself really busy!

Youth Olympic Volunteer and National Day Parade Motivator .(Somehow I have this feeling, I might be in trouble!Tsk.)

My beautiful weekends are gone just like that.

But then again, looking on a bright side, Im surrounded by enthu plus supportive people.Hopefully its gonna be a good experience. :D YAY!

2010-05-17T22:52:00.001-07:00

You know I really utterly disdain people who lives in denial.It’s like….they are true born hypocrites.They have no life that’s why they live in a life like that.They did something wrong,or partially wrong,but they didn’t admit it and then start to point fingers at us back, blame us.I can’t tolerate with these people,they make me wanna punch their face in so hard.

So what now,I am the evil one~?
Im dark dark dark dark dark dark agaiinnnn..=/

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

CAMP :D

2010-05-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

Picturess time! As usual.. Im lazy to do any writing here.

:DD.

They are my group members;ANDREA BLACK. :)

There are actually many many more and how I wished I could post some more of it here, but blogger is being such an ass, so....'ll just stop here.

2010-05-16T06:48:00.000-07:00

Im back form the 3 days camp and Im insanely tired(if theres such word ah. HAHA). I do not know about others, but I had fun.Being around with such enthusiastic plus supportive people.. Fantastic!. Will upload the pictures soooooooooon~~

2010-05-12T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yea baby yeaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I will be off for some school camp on Friday till Sunday that I have signed up for. =/ I don't really have a thing for camps but somehow this kinda looks interesting so I thought maybe I give it a try. Plus im going with Juli! YAAYY!! Lets see how it goes...

So far,Ive been dealing my time with full force(okayy,not really that full force la) of some school activities and studies and oh plus the yog thingy. Yes, kinda busy. Not really that busy, I still do have some time for myself, such as my weekly dosage of Gossip Girl, and Vampire Diaries (Im seriously way behind for the series 'Glee') out for some random meet ups with BFF and both weekends are spent whole fully and beautifully with family/cousins/uncles :DDD

BUUUTTTT. Its been almost a month since Ive met Boma and Friends to have a good time together :(( Where we all gather together, even though its very impromptu, hang around at some place or either eat ice cream and talked everything under the sun and rain, laugh out loud stupidly plus more storiess, don't feel like going anywhere, stay there all day long and just talk? Now where has that feeling/vibes gone to?

Everyone is so busy with their packed schedule and some couldn't make it and all (such as me! Haha!) but its okayyyyy! We will meet soon! =)))) I wanna have a long long time with all my friends please please pleaseeeee. Hhahaha!

And my ladies,, its been such a long time =/

Sidetrack, now why do I even have the time to update this blog of mine, when Ive gt to do some research for Critical Reflection plus some math tutorials that needs to be done? Plus the weather now is horrendously hot, it pisses me off. Sometimes, I have to bath up to more than 3 times. Really terrible la.

OKayyy BYEEEE!

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

$$

2010-05-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

I think I just waste my $30??? :(

♥♥

2010-05-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

I'd like to wish all the mothers in this world, a very Happy Mothers Day. (:

Especially to my one and only beautiful Mother <3

For all the times you stood by me, for all the endless supports and encouragements you gave to me, for all the money you spent on me, for all the care and love you showered to me, for all those days you went against me and vice versa (HAHA!), for all the times you became my best friend and for most of the times that you are my mother, I love you no matter what, though at times you can just get angry for no reason with your usual tantrums -.-

Happy Mother's Day ♥

Im so glad that our relationship has grown so so so much better then the previous. :))

2010-05-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

After awhile, I find myself getting tired of being nice and concerned towards people. Sighs sighs.

2010-05-05T06:05:00.000-07:00

I am feeling very very lethargic after having a long day today and Im lazy to elaborate about it. One thing for sure its been some time since I met up with some of the island peeps. Talking to Mei Fern and Halim; I like it, though its only for a short while. Was updated about many things as well as got to know some things I've not known and such. And yea, Im lazy to elaborate more about it. Heehe!

Also, I met with my tutor and talked to him regarding my academic wise and seriously I couldn't feel more motivated then ever. (Okayla, abit of exagerating here). According to him, I should get a 'B' for my DE and then hopefully he might be able to blah blahblah....
Its definitely a Big jump for me since I hate that module much and to get a B is errr emm umm, but Insyallah, Im gonna try. Since all of you know Im such a procrastinator, I need to do some things in advance and such. God. Gonna be hectic.
"Take ownership of your own studies." - I will. I definitely feel the stress on me bit by bit. Relax,but I must definitely get back on track and not lag all the way.
Now you see how motivated I can be?

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-05-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

In Life,you just have to deal with the shit that people do.

Not everyone will stay true.

Temperament

2010-04-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

*The 'never get upset' part is soo wrong ah! Tsk.*

I had Gems today ; Know Your Temperament blends. Man, I really enjoyed the lecture. Though at times she's always off point and always talking about her husband as example, I kinda liked it. :D But still, I don't even know what category I am in! Tssskkk!

So err.... Hi ladies and gentlemen, I am a Philip Phlegmatic! (As in majority of the points are similar to myself la.)

Told you before Im such a procrastinator right?
Phlegmatic is a good student if their procrastination doesn't catch up with them. Aheeheehehehehe. :)
This is definitely right. ;D

2010-04-28T03:26:00.000-07:00

Currently now, lying on my bed, to update this rusty blog of mine before I have my afternoon nap.

And yes I did it! ( lame!) I joined the volunteer thingy for the Youth Olympic Games as an Event Services Marshal. And let me tell you, I really took a long time to decide. Firstly to decide what role should I get myself and secondly which is definitely the hardest; should I or should I not join the YOG volunteer group. My my, how indecisive I can get, in which I troubled a very very good friend of my who accompanied me. Sorryy :(

Seriously,its like Im taking a risk on something.Ugh! Hopefully its gonna be all good. The 'mixing around' part, uh uh sighhh!! I can't possibly be so anti-social/shy to mix around with people forever. Lets hope everything is just fine. :)) Definitely gonna be a good experience. *Excited*

Hesitation :|

2010-04-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

I received an email from SP stating that they need volunteers and such for the upcoming event ; Youth Olympic Games. At the first look, I was kinda interested and be one of the volunteers because its sure gonna be a good experience for me. Plus I can see MORE people (ang moh and more. hahahaha!)

But one problem, I need a companion with me. And you know how much I dislike mixing around. Not that Im anti social but seriously, socialising around is not my kind of thing. I admit to that.

Heard from a friend that there are going to be trainings plus some advantages and all. I mean its seriously gonna be fun and a good experience. Not many people are interested in it and I wonder why, really.

And now I feel abit hesitant about joining the volunteer group or not though Im interested in it. =//

Other than that, I had a FANTASTIC WEEKEND with my cousins/aunties and uncles! Am looking forward for the weekends with them again.

We played bowling @ Downtown East on the Sat night till the wee hours of Sun Morning. Had breakfast at Simpang Bedok at 6am where we had our breakfast and also saw Aliff Aziz there. But no one is a big fan of him so Boo hooo Aliff!! Hahah! Then head down to East Coast to chillax ; I had a swim there, I swear Im getting darker. Tsk3! =/

Im heading to bed now. Dead beat.

End of 1st Week

2010-04-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

I feel like a human being living in a world full of aliens. I miss the old days in my Year1 class. I met such wonderful, funny people(those who are only close to me) and I felt happy when these people are around me and I feel comfortable being who I am. Always looking forward to lunch and classes together. Now that we are separated and such, it feels all weird and different..

Every time I step into a class,naturally I felt unwelcome. Like they know their classmates so well, that the class become clannish. I actually told a very very close friend in SP(diff course, same primary school :D) about why and how I felt this way and amazingly, she felt the same way as well when she is actually an extrovert. Its not like im starting to be a loner with a stamp on my forehead that says "eff off", but its just a natural instinct that this isn't my group of friends. Is it because im so used to those close poly friends of mine that I treat the newcomers differently ot is it just natural that I am feeling this way? I have no idea. It definitely feels weird and it sucks! I couldn't feel more lonelier in school now,seriously. But then again, its not really my main concern. Somehow, it makes me learn how to be independent. Heh! (eh, but thinking back, it took quite awhile for me to actually really click well with my close friends in poly. Yes! Quite a while to talk, to get comfortable and familiarise with each other and such!)

On a brighter note, I have already let it all out to my parents about my school wise and I felt relieved. I never did keep any secret especially about school from them before. Of course, abit of naggings/scoldings here and there, but yea everything is fine :D Apart from that, Boma and Myself seems to be motivating each other to study hard and such which makes me feel really... ( I dunno what's that word la!) And she has math module, and we could study together!!

Looking forward to Saturdays as well; spending my time with Cousins/uncles/aunties/relatives and more la!

I have something random in mind suddenly. I wanna hang out at the waterfront (My riverrr, tk habes2 btul!) to chilllax! Though its far, that place is a really best place for me to sit and think!

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-04-20T03:59:00.000-07:00

I have been really feeling very, very uninspired after whatever has happened and I really promised myself that I am going to work really hard no matter what stage I am in now. =/ With the motivation that some good friends of mine gave plus my determination, I am sure I could pull this off. I am trying to relax and think positive here even though I know Im way far back. But its okay la!. But at times there's this feeling that sinks in that somehow makes you demoralised.Whatever
And yup, this time round, I really mean it, I will not procrastinate. Its been such a huge blow on me previously. A really big big wake up call. Of course I do not want it to happen again. I have woken up now.
Those who look down on me, I will prove to you slowly that I could make it.

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

Where are the girls?

2010-04-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

1st day of school. I swear I somehow felt weird somewhere. I had maths and then lunch with my previous classmate. That's where the wierd~ness suddenly comes. I had more weird~ness session in school and such. Don't ask me why, I had no idea myself.

I really am hoping somehow there are some girls in my class but nah! Cheat my feelings! Somehow I really want to have girls in my class, whom I could make friends with and such instead of me sticking with the guys all the time and making me really really ucomfortable. ( But Im glad I could click with some of them)

But whatever, I want girls in my class la! I don't really know how to describe it but the feelings its like so lost!

Now I really sound like one idiotic girl who is desperately looking a girl friend. Tsk!

I kept hearing the "Paling Comel" song over and over again by the late Achik and Nana. I was quite a fanatic of that song when in Primary Sch days. His departure shocked me way too much.

Al-fatiha. Selamat Pulang ke Rahmatullah Achik Spin.

http://iamhanis.tumblr.com/

2010-04-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I love Saturday. I really do. It totally relieves me from a week of stress I had! Ugh

Thank you cousins, uncles and aunties, relatives and so on.(Hah!). I had my fair share of fun today.

I board the Singapore Flyers babyyy! (Like finally!)

Worthless

2010-04-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

What's that?

Somehow I felt that I have been brought up well, have some values that my two parents instilled in me.I know what's wrong and right, what's good or not and etc.. Even though with that, no doubt, I admit , I did some wrongdoings, mistakes and such. I mean come on, we are teens, we make mistakes. " A person without any mistakes doesn't have a life"

All I asked is some leisure outing before the bloody school starts; the only day that I am free. I have been thinking about a whole lots of things and all I need is to go out . Relax myself. And you jolly well haven't heard my explanation 1st before making decision.
Your words always make feel that Im such a bad, disgraceful, not being the understanding daughter at all. Am I, really? Sometimes I wonder, who is always there first whenever things happen and such? Who always takes initiative of things no matter how deadly tired I am? Who is the most reliable among three?
And then there is some changes in me, you just know how to blame those friends of mine who clearly are innocent and totally had nothing to do with it. It made me really worthless and I can ended up crying over little things you say. It hurts so much.
It goes on that you give me that sarcastic voice of yours,more criticism,more hurtful words with a sneer making me feel more hurt, instead of comforting or talk to me in a nice manner. What is this, really? Its as though Ive gt no feelings. FML.

I feel like typing more, but nah, I will stop here. I just need to let it all out. What's the use of having a blog then. I don't think many will read this anyway.

Instead of me releasing stress, its you who add on to it. Seriously.
FML.I just made a fool of myself infront of friends of my plans. U like it now?
I find you very unreasonable that night.

Worried

2010-04-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had this feeling as though you are doing something with a heavy heart? But you have to, cos its for your own future, for your own good. You will feel bored, abit hesistant/reluctant and very restless. I am feeling that way. I don't really know how to describe that feeling; no one probably understands it anyway.

Anyhoos, I have to go to some briefing on Thurs morning for some module briefing and credit units and whatever thingy which I don't really understand. I am somehow really worried. Really am. Some people can still say Im taking things lightly. Pfftt! =.=

School is starting in how many days time. Its gonna be more long hours plus more difficult and challenging modules.Plus most of my classmates are scoring well and it makes me feel abit left out and somehow competitive ( part nie aku mcm phm aje. tsk!) But its okay. I mean, I've planned to work hard for the upcoming semester and never to skip classes again. Im dragging myself to school whether I like it or not! Period! Even had Boma on standby to scold me if I ever did that. Muahaha!

I need to think positive about a whole lots of things. Really. I want and have to improve.

And before school starts, I really wanna pamper myself at the beach/island to relax myself. I really need it. Been going out for the past few days and having restless thoughts and all I need now is some relaxing before school starts. Lets hit the beach, shall we?

Please.